The worst travel souvenirs, from dictator dolls to Trump condoms

Just what you always wanted... a Trump family Russian doll set: Getty Images
Just what you always wanted... a Trump family Russian doll set: Getty Images

You know the drill. Go on holiday, buy a gift for your friend, hope they'll still want to be your friend after receiving said gift. When it comes to souvenirs, the allure of the tacky, weird or downright inappropriate is strangely powerful when abroad. From the ultimate form of contraception (a Donald Trump condom) to purses made from kangaroos' scrotums, there's a host of bizarre yet tempting items to buy on your travels.

(Fish Eddys)
(Fish Eddys)

New York: Trump condoms

A Trump-themed condom could be considered a bit of a passion killer. But for those keen to purchase some protection with an image of the President’s face on the packet, as well as the words “I’m HUUUUGE!”, Fishs Eddy on Union Square, New York City, is here to help. Meanwhile, if you fancy the sweet smell of success, pick up his Success by Trump fragrance, which “captures the spirit of a driven man”. You can buy this, the Donald’s Empire fragrance and his brand of deodorant from the Trump Towers store.

Open a bottle with a corkscrew fashioned like a boy peeing
Open a bottle with a corkscrew fashioned like a boy peeing

Brussels: Boy peeing corkscrew

This is actually somewhat cultural. It’s modelled on the Manneken Pis – which translates as Little Man Pee in Dutch – a well-known sculpture in Brussels, Belgium. The bronze sculpture depicts, you guessed it, a little boy urinating; and a well-placed fountain really brings the scene to life. The landmark has inspired a range of inappropriate souvenirs for lovers of tat, from ashtrays to corkscrews.

Australia: Kangeroo scrotum purses

The phrase “spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch”, designed to ensure you’ve remembered everything upon leaving the house, gets a whole new meaning in Australia. The Souvenirs Australia company sells “lucky” purses made from marsupials’ scrotums, as well as bottle openers decorated with the private parts of red kangaroos. Size varies.

In Bolivia, dried llama foetuses are considered to bring good luck (Wikimedia Commons/Davidlu)
In Bolivia, dried llama foetuses are considered to bring good luck (Wikimedia Commons/Davidlu)

Bolivia: Llama foetuses

You might not want to pack them in your suitcase, but llama foetuses are big business in Bolivia. They’re thought to bring good fortune and are used as an offering to Pachamama, or Mother Earth. The foetuses, which are usually taken after their mothers suffer a miscarriage, are traditionally offered on the first Friday of every month or whenever a new building is constructed – they're buried in the ground beneath the property. You'll find them for sale at the Witches Market in La Paz, where you can you can also pick up some dried frogs (also lucky) and some black penis candles. Local sorcerers also offer spells to punish cheating boyfriends, always useful.

Guantanamo Bay: Novelty t-shirts

It may not be at the top of your holiday wish list, but if you were passing by the Guantanamo Bay area, you could become the proud owner of a T-shirt bearing the words “I can’t GTMO satisfaction”. Souvenirs also include a bobblehead Fidel Castro figure, which stands on a boom box displaying the words “Rockin’ in Fidel’s backyard”. You could pick up some candles, golf balls and a pair of camouflage insoles while you're at it. When you've had your fill of prison tourism, the area also contains an art and history museum, a McDonald’s, Subway, Starbucks, Baskin Robbins, KFC and Pizza Hut - for all your fast-food needs.

There are a wide range of neon Virgin Marys to choose from (Getty Images/iStockphoto)
There are a wide range of neon Virgin Marys to choose from (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

Lourdes: Day-glo Virgin Mary

The French have a real knack for creating truly tacky religious souvenirs. It’s a gift. And it can be seen at its best in the wares found around Lourdes, famous as a pilgrimage site where the Virgin Mary is said to have appeared to a local woman in 1858. Alongside all the myriad vessels containing holy water, there is an impressive array of statuettes in Mary’s honour – including ones that light up and others rendered lovingly in fluorescent plastic.

New York: 9/11 souvenirs

The National 9/11 Memorial Museum pulled its commemorative cheese plate from sale a few years ago after complaints about it being “crass” and “insensitive”. The cheese plate was in the shape of the US, with hearts marking the spots where the attacks hit America. These days it sells gifts such as key rings, t-shirts and decorative pillows. There’s a pillow with an image of a Bible or one entitled “Oscar Prays at Sunrise” with a picture of a little boy sitting in the rubble; sure to brighten up any home.

Rome: Mussolini calendars

For those who think of Mussolini as a dictator for all seasons, it’s possible to pick up a themed calendar in Rome – and they seem to sell pretty well.

It’s a different story in Emilia-Romagna, the region where Mussolini was born and raised, as shop owners there now face a potential prison term of six months to two years if they’re caught selling the non-PC memorabilia. Until the ban was introduced last year – brought about after complaints by tourists – local vendors were doing a roaring trade in themed shot glasses, coffee cups and even baby clothes. Local councillors said they hoped that other regions would follow their lead. “The move is an important step in sending out a strong message against the trivialisation of history and fascism's evils,” said Nadia Rossi, Democratic Party councillor.

Russia: Dictator dolls

Want a full set of souvenir dictators? Russian tourist shops contain different versions of matryoshka dolls, which traditionally depict Russian females in national costume. Treat yourself to a miniature Hitler or Stalin, or pick up a set of world leader dolls. There was a greater demand for the sets of Trump dolls in the run-up to the US election. “Like matryoshka doll, I think he [Donald Trump] is like this. You open and you get one more inside," said one tourist. "He's got many layers, I think."