'This is the worst Comic Relief I've ever seen': the dire moments from BBC's Red Nose Day 2017

Comic Relief raised £71 million for worthy causes and gave romcom fans the Love Actually sequel they’ve yearned for all these years. But not everyone was impressed, with many taking to social media to slam the BBC’s charity ding-dong as unfunny and shambolic. 

“Have they forgotten to put the 'comedy' into comic relief?” tweeted one frustrated viewer while a routine in which Nineties comedy duo Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer menaced Good Morning Britain presenter Susanna Reid with a fake penis was variously criticised as “b----y awful” and “car crash live TV”. 

With a running time of over six hours, it was too much to expect that Red Nose Night would be constantly hilarious. And some sequences did find favour, including the aforementioned Love Actually follow-up and a Carpool Karaoke sketch in which James Corden tried to help Take That break America.

But the consensus nevertheless seems to be that the broadcast’s funny bone was consistently missing. Ongoing technical hiccups didn’t help, with Russell Brand turning the airwaves blue as his segment was interrupted. There was outrage, too, over a pre-watershed two fingers from comedian Brendan Carroll during a Mrs Brown skit. 

This raises the question of whether it matters if comedians deliver the anticipated laughs when coming together for charity. So long as lots of money is generated for the needy, who cares about the chuckles-to-cringe ratio? 

But the audience generally seemed unsympathetic to this viewpoint and perhaps not unreasonably expected that, in return for opening their wallets, they would be furnished with the occasional bellylaugh. Here are the night’s worst car-crash moments. 

1. Russell Brand’s Sweary Shambles 

“F---ing hell” yelled the open-shirted funnyman as a technical glitches hobbled his moment in the spotlight. In another hitch, Brand had been about to unveil the grand total raised thus far when the screen went dead – and a BBC title card flashed up. 

2. The “Biscuit World Cup”

There was an outcry as wrenching footage of a starving infant in Liberia was followed by a bit in which celebrities debated the merits of chocolate digestives and custard creams.

Comedian Russell Howard had concluded a devastating report from the famine-stricken African nation with the revelation that four month old Tabitha had later passed away, adding that her father had insisted the footage be broadcast.

As the shock settled in, viewers were whisked back to the O2 where Miranda Hart, Rob Beckett, Joel Dommett, Sally Phillips and Richard Osman surrounded by platters of digestives, competed in a “Biscuit World Cup”.

3. Vic Reeves, Bob Mortimer and their fake penis

Breakfast television host Susanna Reid suffered an understandable humour failure as Vic Reeves flashed a fake penis at her and then asked about her relationship with her “husband Piers Morgan”.

“I stopped listening when you said, ‘While you lie next to your husband Piers Morgan’. Piers Morgan is my TV husband,” she said as the studio audience lapsed into pained silence. Twenty years of comedic credibility shrivelled up and expired in an instant. 

Others seized on the fact that, though Ed Sheeran had been prohibited from using the word “rape” in his pre-watershed report from Liberia, it was perfectly acceptable for Reeves to wave a fake male appendage before 9pm. 

4. Graham Norton makes Cara Delevingne toes curl 

Not one to suffer fools under the best of circumstances the super-model was mortified as the chat-show host asked her to repeat a story about having sex on a plane. 

“You were doing it, and a man was watching it…” said Norton, attempting to kick-start the anecdote. 

“My father is here by the way, “ said the squirming Delevingne, clearly eager to move on. “Sorry dad...'

 “Was it EasyJet because they charge more for that?,” chimed a leering Jonathan Ross, sending the cringe factor through the roof. 

 5. Lenny Henry loses his cool 

Loveable Lenny showed a flash of temper as sound issues made it difficult for him to hear what he was saying. He stood up and shouted at the live audience to hush down. Errors were an issue throughout the broadcast. Another glitch happened in the course of a  televised broadcast of BBC Radio 1's Innuendo Bingo, featuring reality TV star Joel Dommett and radio hosts Chris Stark. A video failed to play and DJ Scott Mills was required to fill the airtime with improvised chatter.

The Love Actually cast, then and now: in pictures

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• Graham Norton

• Piers Morgan

• BBC

• Susanna Reid

• Comic Relief

• Joel Dommett

• Love Actually

• Cara Delevingne

• James Corden

• Miranda Hart

• Ed Sheeran

• Red Nose Day

• Carpool Karaoke

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