World's Sexiest Man to Disappear
Channing Tatum has announced that he is taking a break from acting in 2013, because he wants to spend the year traveling from door to door, offering lonely people sexual services in exchange for a story, a meal, a handmade item, really anything they are willing to share with him. Well, no, OK, he's actually going to be looking for a project to direct. He's just taking a breather. He was in three movies this year! That's a lot. And he'll potentially show up in four next year. So really we're covered for next year, it's the year after we have to worry about. If he makes no movies in 2013, we'll suffer his absence in 2014. Or those of you who are obsessed with ol' Meatthunder will suffer, anyway. The rest of us will shrug our shoulders and go see the four movies he's in next year and then probably won't want to watch him in anything after that anyway, so we'll be all set. [Entertainment Weekly]
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And, hey, buck up, Tatum fans. He may be taking a hiatus in a little bit, but Sean Bean is coming back! Yes, he is starring in a TNT pilot called Legends, it's just been decided. See, poor Brendan Fraser was supposed to star in the show but then his wig fell off at the table read and everyone was like "Ohh, uh..." so he had to go, and now Sean Bean is in. He'll be playing "a deep-cover operative who has an uncanny ability to transform himself into a different person for each job." So we'll be getting Sean Bean doing weird accents instead of Brendan Fraser doing weird accidents. And wigs will still be involved anyway, it's about disguise after all, so I don't know why Fraser was kicked off the studio lot in the first place. Oh, well, that's the breaks. For Brendan Fraser, and for Sean Bean. Going from Game of Thrones to Brendan Fraser replacement on TNT. Sigh. [Deadline]
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Homeland reigns supreme! At long last, the newbie has bested its veteran colleague Dexter in the ol' ratings game at Showtime. Yup, on Sunday night the Homeland episode that had every TV critic on Twitter going into crazed paroxysms of anger and despair was watched by 2.2 million people, while Dexter only clocked in with 2.1 million. Aha! The new kid wins! The two-year-old slightly beats the seven-year-old! And also how is it that only 2.2 million people watch dumb old Homeland and somehow I know all of them! It's infuriating! I watch the show too guys but let's maybe stop talking about it all the time! It's just Homeland! That's all! OK! No more! [The Hollywood Reporter]
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The Shield creator Shawn Ryan is creating a show for HBO set in a mining town. It's contemporary, though, so there won't be any grizzled prospectors or petticoat-waving hookers or anything. Just modern miners, dealing with hardships, trying to figure out how to get by. Sounds... thrilling. No, no, I kid, I'm sure it could be very interesting. But it does sound pretty bleak. [Deadline]
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Oh, brother. After the success of his directorial debut Ted, Seth MacFarlane can basically do whatever he wants next. And what he wants to do next is a movie called A Million Ways to Die in the West, a Western comedy written by two other guys. Which is fine, I guess, whatever, the Western comedy has a noble tradition, from ¡Three Amigos! to Blazing Saddles to whatever else is a Western comedy. City Slickers, I guess. But yes, that's fine. The trouble is, Seth MacFarlane wants to star in it. And it's live-action. So he's not just giving voice to a bear. It's him, with his big chompers and New Yorker-documented spray tan. In a movie. For the whole time, presumably. Which could be very taxing. We'll hold out hope that it will be decent because Ted was perfectly fine, as it turned out, but we weren't looking at Seth MacFarlane the whole time. And will he talk in his normal low voice? Because, oof. Oof to this idea right now. [The Hollywood Reporter]
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Heiress and movie producer (two completely unrelated things, of course) Megan Ellison runs a company calls Annapurna that, despite her being and heiress movie producer, has put out good movies like The Master and Zero Dark Thirty. And now she's secured the rights to The Terminator for $20 million, and hopes to make a couple movies before 2019, when everything reverts back to James Cameron. OK, so far so good. A production movie that makes smart, interesting dramas putting together a Terminator movie. Sounds OK to me. Except. Ugh, except. She's gone and reached out to her doofus brother David Ellison, who also has a production company, to help her put the movie together. Megan, no. Don't do it. Don't you remember that David made Flyboys? And tried to act in it? Do you remember Flyboys? Sure, sure, he also produced Mission: Impossible IV which was great and did boffo box office, and he's got the new Star Trek coming up, but Flyboys, Megan. Flyboys. One must never forget Flyboys. Even if one's brother is one of the flyboys. Even then. One cannot forget. [Deadline]
