On the eve of Equal Pay Day, President Trump celebrated the best way he knew how: by rolling back Obama-era protections for women in the workplace.
Trump specifically revoked the 2014 Fair Pay and Safe Workplaces Act, which made it easier for women to take sexual harassment cases to court and establish paycheck transparency. And before you start screaming, remember: Trump did say that no one respects women more than he does, so we're sure it's just a matter of time before he rolls back protections for men as well.
Here are some workplace protections for men we'd like to see Trump revoke in the interest of justice and #equality.
1. The protection that lets men talk to female coworkers like they're giving a TED talk.
2. The provision that forces men to announce to every random female coworker that they're now taking an improv comedy class.
3. The clause that permits men to partially listen to women at a meeting, then steal their ideas, claim them as their own and get promoted to be their boss.
4. The protection that grants men the right to wear Converse sneakers with suits to work in 2017.
5. The order that lets men talk to their female coworkers for hours about some David Foster Wallace-inspired novel they're working on — which is honestly their real career, you know?
6. The right for men to unnecessarily prolong office meetings because they, "Just love to play devil's advocate."
7. The amendment that allowed this man to settle multiple sexual harassment complaints, and yet still get paid $18 million a year to make fun of Beyoncé.
8. The job training program that funds men to teach women skills they already have.
9. The initiative that helps men grab women's computer mouses so they can show them this "really cool shortcut!" that then makes it impossible for them to use their computers.
10. The welfare program that allows men to get paid more than women for the same jobs, having been successfully born without a vagina.
11. Whatever workplace protections exist that gave this man, who settled two sexual harassment lawsuits, an Oscar.
12. Or allow this man to show up to the office dressed like a boarding school weed dealer.
— arden jurskis (@ArdenJurskis) January 29, 2017
13. And this man the ability to get any job he wants, then strip women of their basic rights with the stroke of his pen.
Image: Evan Vucci/AP/REX/Shutterstock
Happy Equal Pay Day everyone!