Women Are Bravely Calling Out The Sexism They've Endured In The Classroom, And Their Experiences Are Only The Tip Of The Iceberg
We asked women of the BuzzFeed Community who have ever dealt with a sexist teacher or professor to please come forward and share their stories. Many women reached out and graciously spoke about their experiences. Here's what they revealed:
Warning: This post contains mentions of sexual assault and harassment.
1."As a student nurse years ago, a sociology professor told us on the first day that our entire grade would be based on essays. He said we would all likely fail his course because he claimed student nurses wrote terrible essays. 'Nothing against nurses,' he said. 'It's probably just because you're all female.'"
—Anonymous
2."When I was in eighth grade, my guidance counselor asked me what career path I wanted to take so we could start planning the classes I would be taking in high school. I responded that I would like to be a pilot. She responded with, 'Are you sure? That's a lot of math and science. You know girls aren't good in math and science.' And yes, SHE responded like that. That crushed me!! So, what career path did she put me on? I became an elementary school teacher. 'Typical' career path for a woman."
—Anonymous
3."When I was in graduate school working on my master's in education, I had a class with a professor who said the stupidest thing to me as he handed me my final essay, upon which he had written an A. 'Nice work. Did your husband write it for you?' Reporting him would have been a waste of time, as my complaint would have been laughed off or ignored, but worse yet, complaining would have potentially risked my grade in the class (this was in the 1990s)."
—Anonymous
4."In honors math class in high school, I had a lot of questions one day. My male teacher and one of my classmates' father responded to my third question with, 'Why do you care? You will marry a doctor and eat bonbons all day.'"
—Anonymous
5."In junior high, we had a teacher who always put the girls in the front row so he could look down their shirts. When one person asked him how long the report we were working on had to be, he said, 'It should be just like a girl's skirt: long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to be interesting.' Freaking pervert!"
—Anonymous
6."I had a college professor who graded his students based on their cup size (it was an all-women's college). When I emailed and asked why he had given me a low grade in his class, he replied very condescendingly. When it came time for us to give our evaluations of him (he was a new hire that year), I didn't hold back in ripping him to shreds (in very professional language, I hasten to add). I also included a copy of the email when I turned in the evaluation. He was not there the following year."
—Anonymous
7."A teacher in high school was super sexist. She basically told us that women were only meant to give birth, cook, and care for men because women were 'too stupid' to have any real jobs. She also frequently commented on the appearances of girls in my class. Once, she told me I'd never find a husband because my hips were not wide enough, and therefore, I'm not an ideal woman. The joke's on her, though; I'm a lesbian."
—Anonymous
8."I struggled with math in high school but took extra math classes to try and boost my chances of a better college opportunity. I worked really hard in an advanced course, and when the teacher (female) asked if I understood the material, I was really proud to say yes. She turned back to the board and said, 'Well, if [my name] gets it, everyone gets it,' and kept teaching. She was also the JV soccer coach and told me once that girls can't have six-pack abs because they're girls."
—Anonymous
9."In high school, I took a certified nurse assistant course. All other students were girls in high school, except for one girl, the oldest, who was 18. One day, the instructor brought in this old man to teach us CPR and some other things. He talked about heart attack symptoms and how men and women usually experience different symptoms. Men get pain in their chest and arm, and women usually get pain in their back, neck, and jaw. Then, he made a dirty joke. I can't remember exactly what he said, but basically, it was an oral sex joke about why women experience their symptoms where they do. I was so shocked. No one said anything. It was silent after he made the joke, and he just sat there grinning. This was in Utah, the Mormon state. I wish I called him out. He was so rude to me afterward when I asked a question. I don't remember if anyone ever brought up how disgusting it was of him to say to a group of 16–18-year-old girls."
—Anonymous
10."As an undergraduate at MIT, at many times, I was the only female in a class. I was asked by the professor in a lab course once whether I was the secretary for the lab group."
—Anonymous
11."In grade school, I had a teacher who would favor the eighth-grade boys. She would even bring them dinner. The girls in class with ponytails were dragged down the aisles by their ponytails as punishment."
—Anonymous
12."My gym teacher in middle school told me I should get a tan before I wore shorts. I was, and still am, incredibly pale and have never minded it, though being a girl in the '90s who didn't tan was apparently problematic for my middle-aged male gym teacher."
—Anonymous
13."In college, I (F) was working on a project with two of my fellow undergrads (M), and a grad student (F). The grad student was not a native English speaker, so we decided she and I would work on the middle part together, which was most of the data analysis, and the guys would handle the setup and results. During our presentation, it came out that she and I had misinterpreted some of the data because we had read one of the graphs wrong. The professor's response was to look at the guys and ask, 'Why did you give the girls the hard part?'"
—Anonymous
14."I took a computer typing class in high school because I couldn't get better than pecking. I could text fast but was awful at typing. My male teacher, probably around 70, told me I'd never be a good 'secretary' with my typing. I stood up and said, 'Good, because I'm going to be the boss,' and walked out. The school was so worried I'd complain to the school board that they gave me a passing grade, and I had a free hour for the rest of the semester."
—Anonymous
15."Not a teacher, but an Army recruiter who came to the school during my senior year. I'd scored well on some tests, and they wanted to meet to discuss enlisting. I have a gender-neutral name, and when I arrived for our meeting, he was surprised to see I wasn't male. He then proceeded to tell me that 'women belong at home' and my job was to 'take care of the kids,' among other things. I noped right out of the room and ghosted every recruiter who called afterward. After learning how women were/are treated in the military, I thank the universe for sending the misogynistic old fart that day. The kicker? The male teacher in the room said nothing. Not. A. Word."
—Anonymous
16."Seventh grade in a new school. I had always enjoyed working with my hands, so I chose to take woodworking. I was the only girl in the class. None of the boys bothered me; they were too busy working on their assignments. But, the teacher teased me nonstop about my presence in the class. He would mockingly say, 'Oh, are you here to build a dollhouse?' He never let me do anything in peace; he always had to comment on it. If you'd asked, he would've said he was just teasing, but it sure didn't feel like teasing to an 11-year-old. To this day, I don't understand why he felt the need to bully a child. I still have the things I made in that class. I did good work. I don't know why he was so annoyed that I was there."
—Anonymous
17."I had a professor in law school reject submitted outcomes in a negotiations class where I would beat my male colleagues. He told them that they shouldn't let a girl beat them. Then, he told me I should pick a husband, get married, and quit pursuing my degree."
—Anonymous
18."When I was doing the driving part of driver's ed, I was the only girl with two other guys. When it was my turn to get behind the wheel, my instructor, the school's football coach, said, 'Everybody buckle up! The girl is getting behind the wheel.'"
—Anonymous
19."He was a well-known, highly-regarded professor in humanities. It was our semester meeting that every student scheduled with him, and I was excited to hear what he thought about my writing and plans. Instead, he asked if I had a boyfriend and if I wanted a family. When I said yes, he said, 'Maybe you should focus on that...on him.' I was confused at first; then, as I kept thinking about it, I wondered if he thought my writing was terrible or that I wouldn't amount to anything and should take a traditional patriarchal path. It has bugged me for years, and I felt so disappointed that someone I respected and liked would offer such deflating advice. Maybe my writing was so amazing he felt threatened. I'd like to think it was that. I didn't stop writing and don't plan on it."
—Anonymous
20."I took a ballroom dance class in college for fun. The professor insisted on only providing instruction to the male students. Female students were directed to stand against the wall and wait to be asked to join on the dance floor. The professor would yell out, 'Ladies, what's your job?' and we would all have to chant, 'To look pretty!' This was in 2016. It was the only class I quit, and I have always regretted not reporting the professor."
—Anonymous
21."In an electricity and magnetism course, we learned about hysteresis loops. After drawing the graph on the board, the professor told us it was shaped like a uterus. Then he took a detour to tell us that the word 'hysteresis' comes from the word hysterical, which comes from the word 'uterus.' Then he said that the Greeks thought that the uterus made women hysterical. I want to remind you that this was a physics class, not a history or language class. Did I mention that I was THE ONLY female in the class? Is it any wonder that only 20% of physics majors are women? Another time, I'll tell you the story of when I was in graduate school and my supervisor told me to get on the table and dance around in a bikini."
—Anonymous
22."In graduate school, following my oral exams for my degree, the department director told me he was shocked I hadn't broken down in tears like other girls, hinting that at least some professors made a game of guessing which female candidates would crack under pressure. I was so stunned I couldn't even respond. This was at a highly-respected university about 15 years ago."
—Anonymous
23."As a freshman in high school, I was failing Algebra I. My crotchety old teacher informed me that not passing his class meant I had a fine future ahead of me: I'd be excellent at watching daytime TV, banging out welfare babies, and waiting tables part-time at the local truck stop. Turns out I had undiagnosed dyslexia, sequencing disorders, and ADHD. It was a case of being too smart for my own good. I'd spent the first nine years of school compensating for things by teaching myself using methods that made sense to my brain."
"Algebra kicked my butt because of my constant transcription errors and having exponents/numbers/variables get up and walk around the page. I understood the concepts and how they were applied, but things written in the book could wind up looking different in my mind. I was doing what I saw on the page when I looked at it, so my work was an incomprehensible, unreplicable, snarled mess.
Clearly, to the teacher, I was just a lazy loser who expected my body to open doors and lure those with penises to pay my way. Despite my 'too lazy to do math' issues, I still got into a good university. Ultimately, my Latin III professor pulled me aside one day and said, 'Pride can get in our way, but you don't have to hide this. That's why we have Disability Student Services. Just come to me next time.' I wasn't the careless, clueless, brown girl like my Algebra teacher said.
At the time, I had no idea what my Latin professor meant, but was told that after decades of teaching, she knew dyslexia when she saw it. Suddenly, so much about my life made sense! I'm in a much better place now that I know what's actually going on inside my brain and that being a girl has nothing to do with it."
—Anonymous
24."My creative writing teacher in high school, though a woman herself, did not seem interested in empowering the young women in her classes. The boys in our classes got feedback on their pieces, sometimes on the same day as submission, and they almost always got glowing reviews with constructive feedback. Meanwhile, we girls didn't get feedback for weeks, which was very critical with unclear guidance for improvement. Hell, once, I wrote a story with the same themes and ideas as a male classmate; it was very similar. Mine was 'generic' and 'too simple,' and his was 'refreshing' and 'exciting.' The joke's on her, though, because I've gotten stories published now, so take that!"
—Anonymous
25."There's this chem professor at my college who is infamously sexist. He makes the same perverted joke about Dolly Parton's breasts every year and throws in some off-color jokes about Viagra and homosexuality. He giggles and spits uncontrollably every time he does this. It's disgusting. If you show that you're annoyed or make a comment about him, he will take it out on your grade. He stands too close behind you when you're doing lab work and is a total old creep. He's FINALLY retiring this year."
—Anonymous
26."I went to a vocational high school. Halfway through freshman year, you got to choose your favorite top four to explore more in-depth. My fourth choice (commercial design) was full. The class advisor looked at me and said, 'You're a girl, so I'm putting you in cosmetology.' I really wish I had told someone or stood up for myself. I hadn't found my feminist voice yet."
—Anonymous
27."I was one of only three AFAB (I have since realized that I am nonbinary/agender, but since I still have a female-appearing physicality, most people assume female) people in my computer science classes at university back in 1997. There were around 150 guys in those classes. The professor who taught two programming languages I was learning made no secret that he felt women didn't belong in computing and had no natural aptitude for programming. During classes, he made sexist 'jokes' and used very graphic sexual references to illustrate points that he was trying to make about whatever he was trying to teach."
"One girl had recently been sexually assaulted by her boyfriend, and when the professor made a gross joke about women being raped, this girl got up and began walking out. When the professor noticed, he began nastily making fun of her with comments like, 'Look at this delicate little flower, getting her panties all in a twist!' and 'It's gotten to a point where men can't even say anything without some stupid chick getting pissy about it.' The other girl and I shot each other a look, closed our notebooks, stood, and walked out, too, to a sneering chorus of crass, disgusting comments from the guys in the class, led loudly by the professor. All three of us went to the head of the university and made complaints about that professor. Nothing happened, other than that gross creep beginning to mark the two women and me much more harshly than our male classmates.
I worked hard for high grades (as did the other two), and I had high grades in every course but the ones he taught. His actions and comments never changed; he was never taken to task over his inappropriate conduct, and he went from making comments about women in general to making lewd, rude comments about the three of us in particular. I was having a tough time emotionally, and his daily harassment and bullying caused my mental health to crash hard. At the time, I didn't yet know that I had been diagnosed as autistic at the age of 3 (my parents didn't tell me until after I got diagnosed again at the age of 24), so I had no idea why I was struggling so much with the social aspects of university.
I ended up having a major depressive episode, quitting uni, and coming back home. I soured on the idea of a career in information systems, thinking I would always face guys like him. It was only a chance job listing that led me back into it. I worked in IT for about 10 years before I burnt out and left to work in a different field. I don't miss IT. For whatever reason, it seems to attract sexist edge-lords like that professor, and it just wasn't worth it after a few years of dealing with guys like him all the time — guys who always got away with being disgusting."
—Anonymous
28."I was in college in the mid-'70s. One of my classes was business law. The class of about 60–80 students was seated theater-style with the instructor at floor level. He insisted all the female students sit in the front row so he could look up our skirts and make lewd comments. We were all pretty young and naive and didn't feel we had the power to say anything. This went on in every class, all semester, to the point where I finally had enough and quit the class. There was no one to complain to who would actually listen. I didn't complete that class, so I couldn't graduate that year and had to return the next year to pick it up again. Someone finally said something, and that professor's contract wasn't renewed. He was a lawyer who should have known better."
—Anonymous
29."When I was in middle school, my sixth-grade history teacher said there could never be a woman president because she would 'press the red button during her time of the month.' He then went on to mimic a menstruating female president by making warbling sounds and shaking his hands and shoulders. This was in 1999, not 1899."
—Anonymous
30."I was taking a computer course, and the instructor gave us a bunch of assignments to work on in class, saying that if anyone finished early and wanted more, he would have additional work. I completed my assignments and went to see him for more. His answer was to jiggle his keys in his pocket and say, 'Why don't you go and clean my house?' I was so shocked that I had no comeback. Luckily, we only had one more class, and when the course was over, I had serious difficulty keeping my composure."
—Anonymous
31."A guest lecturer in a biomedical engineering course (during my third year of undergrad) told me to keep my biological clock in mind when making career plans so I could fulfill my duty as a woman and wife."
—Anonymous
32.And: "I had a male professor in college who always told me I needed to smile more. One day, he held me after class to talk about how I didn't smile enough in class. I vaguely explained I was going through some health issues (I have a few invisible illnesses), and he said that was shocking because if you looked up the picture of health in the dictionary, you'd see a picture of me."
—Anonymous
AAAGGGHHHHH. This makes me feel sick. And, it forces me to reflect on my own experiences with sexism in school, which is...difficult to unpack. I'd like to open the floor to others at this time. If you've dealt with sexism in the classroom and want to share your story, you're invited to do so in the comments.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, you can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), which routes the caller to their nearest sexual assault service provider. You can also search for your local center here.
