Woman marks her first Mother's Day with the son she gave up for adoption

May 14—ROCHESTER — In 1964, Linda Kelley was 20 years old, unmarried and living in an area of Pennsylvania with twice the national poverty rate when she gave up her 8-day-old son for adoption.

It was the first and last big decision she made as a parent.

"I wanted him to have a better life than I could give him," she said.

Her son, Michael Kelley, wanted her to know it was the right decision.

Michael traveled from Alabama with his wife Anne to visit Linda, 78, at her home at Benedictine Madonna Meadows over the weekend.

"I've had a great life," he said. "Jim and Diane gave me everything and I wanted her to know that."

Michael was raised by a loving couple, James and Diane Kelley, in Dubois, Pennsylvania. That his adopted family had the same last name as his birth family is one of a few strange coincidences Michael discovered in his search for his birth mother.

Michael recalled when he first learned what being adopted meant. He was in sixth grade and a classmate announced that they were adopted. Michael asked his parents what that meant.

They told him. He took it as many 11-year-olds might.

"I said, 'OK,' and ran back outside to go play," he said.

However, as he grew up, new questions and thoughts began to emerge about his birth family. He wondered what circumstances led to his birth mother making the decision to give him up. On his July 1 birthday every year, he wondered if his birth mother was thinking of him.

"I was," Linda said. "I've thought about him every day."

Michael's adoptive parents both died before he turned 30.

Michael joined the U.S. Army and had a 31-year career in the service. Thoughts and questions about his birth mom continued to pop into his head at times, especially in times of crisis. During a deployment in Iraq, his convoy hit an improvised explosive device.

"It's times like that you think of these things," he said.

Michael decided to look for his birth mom. He tried multiple routes including contacting the county courthouse where he was born and submitting DNA to online ancestry and genealogy sites.

Finally, in 2017, a law allowing adult adoptees to see their birth certificates went into effect. Michael had a name. He used census data and newspaper archives to find his mother's siblings and found a Facebook account for Pam Schaid, Linda's youngest sister who lives in Rochester. He sent her a message asking if she was related to Linda. Pam was understandably suspicious. At the time, she didn't know her oldest sister had given up a son for adoption. After checking with family members, Pam messaged Michael.

"I think you found your mother," she wrote.

For Michael, it was a joy and a payoff after 30 years of searching.

"There was a feeling of success, overwhelming joy," Michael said. "And then, there's this moment of, now what?"

Pam visited Linda in person to give her the news.

Linda wasn't expecting it.

"(Pam) came over, and I said, 'Now what did I do?'" Linda said.

Pam told her she found her son.

"This burden — it felt like I'd been carrying it my whole life — it just lifted off my shoulders," Linda said.

The news yielded some surprising coincidences. In addition to having the same last name, Michael and his aunts had been in State College, Pennsylvania, home of Penn State, at the same time.

"You drove by my house," he said as they discussed spending time in the central Pennsylvania city.

Pam got a job at Mayo Clinic and Linda followed her to Rochester 30 years ago.

"There are a lot more jobs here than where I'm from," she said.

Linda and Michael met in person in September 2022. Michael promised to visit for Mother's Day. Linda said she counted down the days. The two keep a standing date to talk on the phone at 7 p.m. every Sunday.

"It's my favorite day," Linda said.

Pam said her sister's entire demeanor and attitude have changed.

Michael said he's not hurt or saddened that Linda made the choice she did. He enjoyed a wonderful upbringing and successful career. He and his wife have five adult boys.

For mother's day, Michael and Anne brought Linda a bracelet with charms that say "son" and "mom."

It's a moniker Linda is still getting used to. She never had other children.

"It's still strange being called that," she said. "But I'm starting to get used to it."