Why women stop telling lies when they get older
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At 38, Lily Allen is not old by any stretch of the imagination but she’s old enough to observe that you can’t have a happy family and a brilliant career. In a recent interview she said, jokingly, having children “totally ruined” her music career: “I get really annoyed when people say you can have it all because quite frankly you can’t.” Meanwhile, on the other side of the pond, Sharon Stone, 66, has just named Robert Evans as the producer who told her, 31 years ago, to sleep with her co-star to improve his acting performance. Welcome to women telling the truth about their circumstances and not worrying about offending anyone – because they feel old enough to risk it.
You may say, yes, but we’ve been doing this for years, talking about gender inequality and pay inequality and women being called ruthlessly ambitious when they do the work men do, and difficult when they’re not compliant. You may think you’ve heard it all before, but there are an awful lot of things women still don’t talk about in public, and only with advancing years do they find the courage to do so. Even now we’re still struggling with being honest about certain situations.
Here are some of the lies women routinely tell until they get old enough not to (usually post-40 will do it, after 50 it’s easier, by 60 you’re singing like a canary).
Cosmetic interventions
There are plenty of women whose husbands don’t realise that their faces are not the result of a refreshing walking holiday in Turkey. These women might tell their best friend the truth (she recommended Dr Herman) but no men must know their secret and most will never talk unless forced into a U-turn by a dodgy filling incident (see Courteney Cox).
Diet drugs
Is Lily Allen taking Ozempic maybe? No idea, just a theory, but were she to be taking the new wonder slimming drug you would be the last to know. Men of all ages are shouting about it from the rooftops. Women don’t think their shrunken figure will have the same impact if it’s not all their own work, unless they’re Sharon Osbourne, 71, who has happily credited Ozempic for her three stone weight loss. Civilians tend to lie about being on diets into their 50s and then, gradually, they give up pretending and stop saying things like, “Oh I ate earlier”.
Being a bad mother
It’s quite fashionable to admit you’re a bad wife these days, having as it does a whiff of ‘too modern to play that game’ but you need to be over 50 at least to admit that you were rubbish bringing up your children. Women will occasionally do this, but only if their children adore them and have turned out to be very resourceful and charming. As for not liking babies, owning up to that does not go down well at any age. You can say you don’t think you were cut out to be a mother (never did Helen Mirren any harm) but you’re wise to dote on your nephews and nieces. Hating kids is still straight into the Cruella box.
Having had ‘help’ with decorating the house
Most women would rather admit to having dated Donald Trump than hand over credit for their original colour scheme. You won’t even admit to copying a friend’s stair carpet and then ...bam. You hit 52 and you couldn’t give a stuff.
Having dated your social circle’s equivalent of Donald Trump
Women will deny this flat out right up until their children are grown up and then say “Oh so what? Get over it”.
How much we spend on clothes
Very dishonest about this well into our 40s, but as you get older you’re much less likely to blow a month’s salary on a coat, and if you did you wouldn’t lie about it, you would just knock 60 per cent off.
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