Where Does Chris Christie Go from Here?

From Esquire

Being our semi-regular weekly survey of what's goin' down in the several states where, as we know, the real work of governmentin' gets done, and where you can take what you have gathered from coincidence.

Where better to begin this week than in New Jersey, where Chris Christie is being hung out to dry in court by his former henchpeople and underlings. This must be terribly distracting for Big Chicken as he works his new gig cleaning the pools at Mar-A-Lago. The New York Times is on the scene, picking through the rubble of a very overrated political career.

The closings of the access lanes in September 2013 continued for two more days, creating a catastrophic traffic jam that created gridlock for emergency vehicles, school buses and commuters in Fort Lee, N.J. But Mr. Christie made no effort to reopen the lanes and end the gridlock. Instead, his former ally said, the governor was clearly delighted and seemed to savor the scheme. And after learning that the Fort Lee mayor's persistent and urgent calls for help were being ignored, Mr. Christie said in a sarcastic tone, "I imagine he wouldn't get his calls returned."

Your Honor, the People would like to amend the indictment to include a charge of Aggravated Dickitude.

The former ally, David Wildstein, who has pleaded guilty to being the culprit behind the lane closings, testified as prosecutors showed a series of photographs of him, Mr. Christie and Bill Baroni, then the governor's top staff appointee at the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, which runs the bridge, at a service in Lower Manhattan on the 12th anniversary of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. The photos showed the three men in a loose huddle outside the governor's official vehicle on a dirt roadway between the Sept. 11 memorial and the World Trade Center construction site. Mr. Christie, who has previously said he did not recall the conversation, appears engaged and animated, looking directly into Mr. Baroni's eyes, raising his eyebrows and laughing in some of the frames and reaching out to touch the other men's arms. "We were all very relaxed," Mr. Wildstein testified. "Were you and Mr. Baroni bragging?" asked Lee Cortes, an assistant United States attorney. "Very much so," Mr. Wildstein said. "This was our one constituent. I was pleasing my one constituent. I was rather happy that he was happy."

The Governor is sad. Quick, somebody find an elderly math teacher he can yell at on camera. This trial is all kinds of fabulous.

Speaking of teachers, we are still keeping an eye on the referendum here in the Commonwealth (God save it!) that would lift the cap on the number of charter schools, which, of course, is nothing short of the greatest civil rights question of our time.

(In an earlier post on this topic, I made a mistake in narrowly focusing on the referendum and on charter schools, which enabled liberalism's various hall monitors to enjoy a little cock-a-doodle-doo by telling me that Massachusetts forbids for-profit charters. As the movement gains momentum, we'll see how long that lasts, but no matter. I should have made the obvious point that charters are merely the camel's nose under the tent, or into the public trough, as it were, for the whole education "reform" movement, which is certainly no kind of non-profit. I was wrong in that detail, and unclear in my overall argument. My apologies to the assembled.)

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In any case, the money is still rolling in behind the effort to lift the cap from the various social justice warriors and civil rights icons in the hedge fund industry. However, the people fighting the referendum got a big boost this week when, as The Boston Globe explains, Senator Professor Warren publicly lined up against it.

"Many charters schools are producing extraordinary results for our students and we should celebrate the hard work of those teachers and spread what's working to other schools,'' she said. But, after hearing from both sides, "I am very concerned about what this specific proposal means for hundreds of thousands of children across our Commonwealth, especially those living in districts with tight budgets where every dime matters. Education is about creating opportunity for all our children, not about leaving many behind."

It will be an interesting test of power between SPW and Republican Governor Charlie Baker, who's staked a lot of his prestige on the passage of this amendment. Bear in mind: Nobody is arguing to do away with charter schools. If the referendum fails, there still will be charter schools and the issue likely will go back to the state legislature to be debated again. But there is ample precedent, especially from California and Ohio, to maintain the status quo in the regulatory structure.

Let's skip on west along the northern latitudes until we get to Montana, where a college professor named Kristen Juras is running for judge. (Ed. Note: The Second Worst Idea In American Politics Strikes again.) In the past, Ms. Juras has had issues with a column on The Montana Kaimin blog that dispensed sexytime advice. Now that she's a candidate, Ms. Juras has decided there's votes in them thar feuds. As the Kaimin reports:

Juras posted a brief statement on "Kristen Juras for Montana Supreme Court Justice" attacking the political blog Montana Cowgirl for claiming that Juras "thinks birth control is a major problem in society." (Juras does believe in the right of Catholic pharmacists to refuse to sell birth control, which is maybe the most specific issue a candidate for public office has ever rallied in support of.) The blog also made reference to the Kaimin incident, using it as an illustration of her backward attitudes regarding sex. Juras' somewhat frantically-worded post is accompanied by a video of her performing a parody of the Dr. Hook song "Cover of the Rolling Stone," in which she details her "version of what went down." The song details what happens when someone is "politically incorrect" on the UM campus, signifying that Juras' grasp on the meaning of that phrase is just as tenuous as her understanding of melody.

Dr. Hook? A "version of what went down"? Somebody got their Mod Squad boxed set from Amazon this week, I think.

Singing aside, there are several key problems with Juras' post. First, she claims,"the column was discontinued after the United States launched a comprehensive review of the University's handling of sexual assault and harassment complaints." Even if we ignore the fact that this entire incident occurred three years before that investigation was even considered, this is still flagrantly false. The column was discontinued simply because Bess graduated. She also claims that "all of the major newspapers refused to publish" Davis' columns, and that this is the reason they're unavailable to read online. This, again, is false, as the Kaimin never sought syndication of "Bess Sex." It was written for this newspaper, like all other Kaimin content. The fact that they aren't online is merely a testament to our poor archival management.

My wise old Irish gran' used to tell me, boyo, if you run for judge, don't make up stupid stuff that's so obvious that you can get busted by college students who are doing journalism in their spare time. She was very wise.

And we conclude, as is our custom, in the great state of Oklahoma, where Blog Official Skink Trainer Friedman of the Plains brings us the sad tale of how the civil liberties of the state's livestock are being brutally abridged from above. Tulsa Public Radio, with the 411:

The Director of the Oklahoma ACLU, Ryan Kiesel, told lawmakers they must be careful. He says there is a huge concern over privacy rights. He told a senate interim committee the government cannot be allowed to use drones to spy on people. Kiesel compared drones more to wire-taps than aircraft. Kiesel told the committee he has no problem with drones being used to check on livestock or crops, but does not want them used for government snooping.

Seems reasonable, at least until cows start showing up at Gary Johnson rallies.

This is your democracy, America. Cherish it.

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