Welcome to downtown Fresno. Home of the World’s Largest Fake Brick Nothing | Opinion

Fresno’s most visible cell phone tower has been standing for 2½ months, and the reviews are finally in.

“What the (expletive) is that monstrosity?!” asked one commenter on the Facebook group For the Love of Downtown Fresno.

“Looks like low quality brick wallpaper,” said another.

“Probably the same guys who designed our courthouse,” added a third.

“It needs advertisements,” chimed in a fourth. “Beautiful advertisements for sports betting and erectile dysfunction.”

Opinion

Let it never be said Fresno has a dearth of comedy writers.

Two years ago, I groused about Verizon’s plans to erect a cell phone tower on R Street near Ventura Avenue in full view of every motorist and passenger on the elevated section of the 41 freeway through downtown. I also made fun of the fake ponderosa pine tree proposed for the design.

Besides residents of a nearby condominium complex, hardly anyone seemed to care. They appealed the city’s Planning and Development Department approval of a conditional use permit to construct an “80-foot mono-pine cell tower” in full view of some of their homes.

During a July 2022 meeting, the Fresno City Council voted on a compromise that allowed Verizon to build the cell tower but rejected the fake tree in favor of an alternative design that better blends into the surroundings.

In a letter to planning director Jennifer Clark on behalf of the condo owners, Councilmember Miguel Arias suggested “clock towers, bell steeples, light poles, and similar alternative design mounting structures that camouflage or conceal (its) presence.”

Construction began last fall and was completed in mid-December. What we ended up with is an 80-foot-tall, three-sided structure wrapped in a red brick facade that couldn’t be any more plain looking.

Welcome to Fresno. Home of the World’s Largest Fake Brick Nothing.

Larry Taylor, who has a full view of the tower from his bedroom, compared it to a 19th century smokestack.

Verizon ‘kind of scoffed’

During a Planning Commission hearing, residents of the Huntington Park Condominium Village presented more aesthetically pleasing options for the design. One example, from a city in northern Italy, featured 36 illuminated panels that light up in vivid watercolors. (The fake brick tower lights up at night, but it’s nothing special.)

“The Verizon people knew what we were talking about. They were familiar with that cell tower” in Italy, Taylor said. “But when we proposed they do something like that for Fresno, they kind of scoffed and pushed it aside.”

Considering how visible the tower is from 41, it sure feels like there was a lost opportunity to welcome motorists to Fresno with a pleasant greeting. Or at least give the structure some reason to be standing there.

“Right now it’s just something that sticks up in the air 80 feet and no one knows why,” Taylor said.

Arias told me he would’ve preferred a better looking tower for downtown Fresno, but that Verizon’s design fully complies with the city’s requirements.

“I haven’t seen a tower that I do like in terms of design,” Arias added.

Give tower some character

The best course of action would’ve been to tell Verizon to find another downtown site for a 5G tower. Preferably one that isn’t next to an elevated six-lane freeway.

Since that didn’t happen and we appear to be stuck with it, while acknowledging the need for more cell coverage downtown, let’s at least give the thing some character. (I’m guessing the brick facade is meant to blend in with the nearby State Center Warehouse, but no one is being fooled.)

Fresno is home to so many talented artists whose work is displayed in other areas of downtown. Yes, murals tend to be horizontal rather than vertical. But I’m certain the local artistic community could come up with something more visually appealing that doesn’t impact anything Verizon is doing.

In fact, if any local artist has a concept for Fresno’s most visible cell phone tower, I’m happy to pass along those designs to the powers-that-be.

Is the World’s Largest Fake Brick Nothing better than a fake tree? Probably, yes.

But should we be happy and satisfied with how things turned out? Definitely not.