Procrastinaut: Ten things to waste your time with this weekend

Rob Walker

News of the week: Some money-losing company is going public. But skip the TWTR S-1 and reap the profits of this week’s rich public offering of diverting treasures from the Procrastinaut Tumblr — where @gilbertjasono, @danielwbean, and I gather the very best divisionary wonders and amusements (follow the Tumblr here) all week long, plus a few bonus items. Enjoy.

1. Secret Toy Surprise

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Addie Wagenknecht offers a DIY solution to “girls who want to protect their data beyond just encryption”: Prism Break Barbie is a quickly modified version of the iconic doll, with a spike — for easy destruction of hardware containing data young ladies may prefer not to keep away from prying eyes, at all costs. It’s part of the show PRISM BreakUp opening tonight at Eyebeam in New York.

2. Whack A Bot

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WATCH: BostonDynamics researcher harasses experimental Atlas Robot with 20-pound ball weight borrowed from the set of Looney Tunes. Via Engadget.

3. Animal Therapy

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Stressed? Go see

4. Ridiculous Consumption

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Patrick Strattner’s “Prototypes" — fictional products "inspired by the in-flight publication SkyMall"

5. Lovely Theft Auto

Enjoy the mesmerizing and serene beauty of … Grand Theft Auto V?Yes: This is not another supercut of people getting punched. It’s a violence-free set of lovely timelapses made in various environments within the game. Want more? Check out the Tumblr Other Places, collecting imagery from “beautiful game worlds.” Via Peta Pixel and Curbed.

6. Drawn Together

Scores of artists collaborate to produce five minutes of pure animation joy, The Doodle Project. Via Wired Design.

7. Big Bird With A Pearl Earring

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Sesame Street characters crash Renaissance masterpieces, by way of a Worth1000 digital manipulation contest.

8. Color Corrections

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For advanced Procrastinauts only: the X-Rite Color IQ Test is guaranteed to suck up a substantial chunk of your time. But it’s educational! Challenging you to arrange blocks along a hue spectrum to gauge your visual command of color, it’s also a surprisingly fun challenge. More info: This Quiz Tests How Well You See Color | The Creators Project

9. Art of the Meme

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Lauren Kaelin's new project: Benjameme: paintings of memes. Kaelin interviewed here: Lauren Kaelin Paints Memes | Motherboard.

10. Animal Plangent

And finally, if you’re gonna make some noise this weekend, perhaps you’ll be inspired by the Howler Monkey — which might more accurately be named the Terrifying Hell-Demon Noise Monkey. It is among the loudest animals on earth. Now you know. Via Sonic Terrain.

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