A Visit from the Goop Squad
You know what they say: there’s no time like shortly after announcing your divorce from a world-famous British rock star to branch out into retail.
And thus on Monday, May 5, in the year 2014 AD, actress-slash-lifestyle entrepreneur Gwyneth Paltrow—who revealed last month that she and Coldplay’s Chris Martin would be splitting up after 10 years of marriage—finally (finally!) answered the world’s prayers and opened a shopable, brick-and-mortar version of her beloved (and be-hated) Goop website in L.A.’s posh, faux-rustic, Gooptastic Brentwood Country Mart shopping center.
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I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. I mean, why settle for reading Gwyneth’s tips for living like Gwyneth and purchasing Gwyneth-endorsed products from a webshop when you can “experience this stuff in person,” as one of the lovely Goop Pop-Up staffers told me this morning?
The doors were supposed to swing effortlessly, breezily open at 10:00 a.m., but when I arrived around 10:20, they were still locked. A worker was peeling the Coming Soon decal off the window. A crowd had gathered: women clutching yoga mats; women in loose printed pants and pink patent leather sandals; women with babies and strollers and Goyard handbags. A few paparazzi milled about.
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“Anyone know if Gwyneth is coming?” one asked in a predictably British accent.
“She is,” an expectant customer replied. “I heard she’s going to sign her books! But maybe not until later this week.”
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Oh well. On this particular morning we—and the papparazzi—would have to make do with a bandanaed, unmade-up Lisa Rinna, whose lips were even more pneumatic in person. She was in and out in a few minutes, a bag of Goopy trinkets under her arm.
But while Ms. Paltrow may not have been there in person, she was certainly there in spirit. In fact, the Goop Pop-Up is likely as close as any of us are going to get to going home with Gwyneth (perhaps to her $14 million John Lautner mansion in Malibu). Pink walls. Exposed wooden beams. West Side, post-yoga, just—whipping-up-a-quick-kale-salad-in-our-sprawling-chef’s-kitchen vibes.
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There were, of course, her two books—It’s All Good and My Father’s Daughter—stacked strategically around the room. There was also a lot of the supremely “tasteful” product that’s already available at Goop.com: $200 Frame jeans, $150 Khadi cloth blankets, $10 balls of cooking twine. There was even a row of four handkerchiefs that had been monogrammed, over and over again, with a familiar set of initials: a lowercase “gp"; a script “GP,"; “GMP” in two handsome variations.
In case you’re wondering, Paltrow’s middle name is Kate. The M is for Martin.
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But what really made the Goop Pop-Up such a special place—for good or ill, depending on your view of Gwyneth’s peculiar power—was what the clerk called the “one of a kind stuff we’ve sourced from around the world.”
Stuff like a $345 key-shaped brass bottle opener by Viennese modernist designer Carl Aubock.
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And an $825 silver Walker & Hall Sheffield ice bucket.
And a giant, fluffy $265 Icelandic shearling pillow.
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And a $1,750 marble and steel side table.
And a vintage 1980s Christian Dior leather backgammon set—only $2,350!
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I suppose I could complain here about Gwyneth’s sense of celebrity entitlement—whatever it is that has convinced her that we want to live like her; that carefully curated products are the way to do it; and that we’re all so eager to pay for the privilege that a mere webshop wasn’t sufficient. I’m sure plenty of people will—in other publications, in the comments, wherever.
But my apologies: I actually have to run back to Goop Pop-Up for a second. You see, there’s this 1960s Rolex Explorer that I’ve got my eye on now. Sure, the price tag says $5,895. But a boy can dream, right? All I need is an Academy Award and a British rock star spouse and I should be good to go.
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