A Vietnamese TikTok user has gone viral for talking about how her parents called her “stingy” and “ungrateful” for refusing to pay for her sister’s “lavish lifestyle” as an international student in the United States.
The TikTok user, who did not disclose her real name, reveals in a video she posted on March 26 that she was "disowned" by her Vietnamese parents after she stopped paying for her sister’s expenses.
@rewrite_mytrauma I hesitated to post this videos because my whole life, i was told to never air dirty laundry. I'm not asking for help, just a safe space to vent. #asianparents #vietnameseparents #trauma ♬ original sound - Rewrite my trauma
“I just got disowned by my parents just now because I refused to fund my sister’s lavish lifestyle when she’s here in the U.S. as an international student,” the woman, who is her family’s eldest daughter, says in the video. “They sent her here three years ago knowing that they don’t have the means to pay for it themselves.”
The TikTok user tearfully explains that her parents made her take up all of her sister’s financial responsibilities, including paying for her room and board, tuition and living expenses. She also had to pay her sister’s friends because her sister owed them money for shopping, Uber Eats, clubs and bars.
“I’m just so done with it,” the woman declares. “I put my foot down today because she uses my card to spend $500 on some shopping expenses.”
“I told [my family] that I’m done, and if they want her to remain in the U.S., they had to figure it out themselves,” she continues. “I was called stingy. I was called ungrateful and that I got to where I am because of my family and it is my time to pay it back. It is my responsibility to care for my parents and my siblings. So I am their retirement fund, the college fund for my younger siblings.”
The TikTok user went on to say that she feels “trapped and betrayed” by her culture and family due to the “expectations that you have to care for them.”
“And I would love to [care for them],” she continues. “I love my parents, but there is no boundaries because I am just solely a wallet now.”
Her video, which has been viewed over 19.1 million times on TikTok, garnered plenty of support from other TikTok users.
“A child should never have to pay back their parents for raising you,” one user wrote. “Its their job as parents to do so. You did the right thing.”
“There is a difference between taking care of family and being taken advantage of,” another user said. “Draw a line and make her accountable for her chosen expenses!”
“GURL NO!! I just finished therapy because of Vietnamese parents. Lesson I learnt, time to focus on my happiness, not theirs. I ain’t living for them,” wrote another user.
In afollow-up video, the TikTok user says she did not expect her video to go viral, adding that she found the love and support she received from her followers “comforting,” “overwhelming” and “humbling.”
@rewrite_mytraumaI am overwhelmed with the amount of love and support I have received. Thank you all. It means the world to me.♬ original sound - Rewrite my trauma
She also shares that she has “always been a private person” and felt anxious since someone from her workplace might see her video and judge her.
“But it is comforting and heartbreaking at the same time to know that so many of you had resonated with me because you had gone through the same experience yourself or you knew somebody who had gone through the same experience,” she continues. “So if me ugly crying on the internet at my most vulnerable moment is of any shape or form be of comfort in any possible way to you, I am honored.”
Feature Image via @rewrite_mytrauma
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