The Onion
Paul Ryan's Unsettling Budget Plan Reveals He Cuts His Own Hair
Congressman Ryan is defending his extreme budget plan, which includes proposals that Americans make their own toothpaste and cut their own hair, just like he does.
Recommended Stories
Yahoo SportsBroncos, Jets, Lions and Texans have new uniforms. Let's rank them
Which new uniforms are winners this season?
- Yahoo Finance
Jamie Dimon is worried the US economy is headed back to the 1970s
JPMorgan's CEO is concerned the US economy could be in for a repeat of the stagflation that hampered the country during the 1970s.
- Yahoo Sports
Based on the odds, here's what the top 10 picks of the NFL Draft will be
What would a mock draft look like using just betting odds?
- Yahoo Sports
Luka makes Clippers look old, Suns are in big trouble & a funeral for Lakers | Good Word with Goodwill
Vincent Goodwill and Tom Haberstroh break down last night’s NBA Playoffs action and preview several games for tonight and tomorrow.
- Yahoo Sports
Dave McCarty, player on 2004 Red Sox championship team, dies 1 week after team's reunion
The Red Sox were already mourning the loss of Tim Wakefield from that 2004 team.
- Yahoo TV
Everyone's still talking about the 'SNL' Beavis and Butt-Head sketch. Cast members and experts explain why it's an instant classic.
Ryan Gosling, who starred in the skit, couldn't keep a straight face — and neither could some of the "Saturday Night Live" cast.
- Yahoo Sports
Ryan Garcia drops Devin Haney 3 times en route to stunning upset
The 25-year-old labeled "mentally fragile" by many delivered the upset for the ages.
- Autoblog
These are the cars being discontinued for 2024 and beyond
As automakers shift to EVs, trim the fat on their lineups and cull slow-selling models, these are the vehicles we expect to die off soon.
- Autoblog
These are the fastest-selling new cars of 2024
iSeeCars found that a handful of brands sell new cars much faster than others and noted that EVs are taking longer to sell than hybrids.
- Yahoo Sports
Arch Manning dominates in the Texas spring game, and Jaden Rashada enters the transfer portal
Dan Wetzel, Ross Dellenger & SI’s Pat Forde react to the huge performance this weekend by Texas QB Arch Manning, Michigan and Notre Dame's spring games, Jaden Rashada entering the transfer portal, and more
- Yahoo Sports
Chiefs make Andy Reid NFL's highest-paid coach, sign president Mark Donovan, GM Brett Veach to extensions
Reid's deal reportedly runs through 2029 and makes him the highest-paid coach in the NFL.
- Yahoo Sports
Yankees' Nestor Cortés told by MLB his pump-fake pitch is illegal
Cortés' attempt didn't fool Andrés Giménez, who fouled off the pitch.
- Yahoo Life
Here’s when people think old age begins — and why experts think it’s starting later
People's definition of "old age" is older than it used to be, new research suggests.
- Yahoo Finance
Donald Trump nabs additional $1.2 billion 'earnout' bonus from DJT stock
Trump is entitled to an additional 36 million shares if the company's share price trades above $17.50 "for twenty out of any thirty trading days" over the next three years.
- Yahoo Finance
Retirement confidence in the US ticks up; new rule for financial advisers is set to start
Two-thirds of Americans reported that they feel confident they have enough money for a comfortable retirement, up a notch from last year.
- Yahoo Sports
Report: Red Bull Racing chief designer Adrian Newey to leave Formula 1 team
Red Bull and Max Verstappen have dominated Formula 1 since new car rules were implemented in 2022.
- Yahoo Sports
WNBA Draft winners and losers: As you may have guessed, the Fever did pretty well. The Liberty? Perhaps not
Here are five franchises who stood out, for better or for worse.
- Yahoo Sports
Charlie Woods, Tiger Woods’ 15-year-old son, fails to advance in U.S. Open qualifier
Charlie Woods shot a 9-over 81 in the first stage of U.S. Open qualifying on Thursday in Florida.
- Yahoo Sports
Oakland University outfielders combine to make spectacular catch vs. Northern Kentucky
Oakland University outfielders John Lauinger and Reggie Bussey combined on what could be college baseball's best catch of the 2024 season against Northern Kentucky.