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J.D.: I've read that Obama for some time has been having problems in the bedroom. Turns out, he's read so much over the years regarding the strong resemblance Michelle bears to Wayne Brady, he simply can't get it out of his head and consequently can no longer perform. The president has told confidants that he's simply a floppy disk. He's been seeking psychotherapy for the issue the past few years. This would explain his embrace with Hillary. The poor man is crying out for any kind of affection.