A few valuable tips from the expert for a long lasting relationship on this Valentine’s day!
Is there a secret to long-lasting relationships? Most of us might have wondered about this at some point of our lives. Yes, there is a mantra… Work towards your relationship, meet your partner half-way and be a good listener, says Psychiatrist Dr Pallavi Joshi.
Q. Importance of body language in detecting partner’s mood?
Ans: Body language is a major form of non-verbal communication and sometimes speaks even louder than the words. Words may lie or even remain unsaid, but usually, body speaks honestly, unless the other person is trained enough to manage the body language efficiently.
- A simple warm smile with good eye contact and physical proximity, an attempt to touch you with an alert look is an indication that your partner is interested in you.
- If he or she is not maintaining eye contact or avoiding looking at you, looking frequently at the watch or texting people from the cell phone, paying attention more to the surroundings, is an obvious sign is that he or she is not in the mood or not interested in you.
- Continuous foot tapping, clenching the fists, fidgeting with the hair or fingers indicate anxiety or excitement, depending upon the situation.
- As per the norms of body language crossing the arms close to the chest indicates that the person is not open for any form of discussion.
- If that person’s gaze is focused or fixed far away, it is an indication that he or she is in deep thoughts on a different subject and not interested in the current situation.
- The body language is unique for each and every person, all of the above mentioned points may not be applicable to everyone, but yes, “change” in body language is the attention point.
Q. How to build a relationship after the first hello?
Ans: There are three key things to build a relationship:
- Similar attitude
- Physical attractiveness
Here, proximity means the ability to remain in contact with each other. It is always better if you can meet each other as meeting promotes bonding and long distance relationship seems to lose its charm in the long run.
Likes attract likes. When you think about a serious, long-term relationship, what most of us would want is a person with similar interests. Ensure that you talk about and do things that your partner likes. But criticising a habit or hobby just because you don’t enjoy it might have adverse effects on your relationship.
Good looks are a plus or a positive point for everyone. Although looks are not in your hands entirely, making yourself look presentable definitely helps in building an attractive personality.
Everyone loves compliments. So, make sure you compliment honestly. Avoid criticism on sensitive topics like education, looks and employment during the initial conversations.
While discussing, choose topics related to politics or sports or hobbies during the early conversations as this encourages the other person to talk about him/herself.
Q. How to pacify an upset partner?
- First learn to control your temper. Then, ask you partner about why he/she is upset.
- Allow maximum ventilation with minimum interruptions, as most times, what an upset person requires is a listening ear.
- Be empathetic, but don’t give your advice unless asked for one.
- Trying out some incompatible responses to anger helps many times, eg: cracking some situational jokes, a mild degree of sexual stimulation or flirting or channelisation of negative energy by taking a walk together.
Q. How importance is touch in a relationship?
Ans: As mentioned earlier, physical intimacy definitely enhances bonding, but be sure to what degree it is acceptable to your partner. It’s better to ask your partner if they are comfortable with non-verbal communication so that both of you are on the same page. Although such intimacies are not planned, informal discussions to assess the openness of partner should always encouraged.
The touch, whether caring or romantic is always required among all age groups as it gives one a sense of warmth, security and boosts self-esteem.
With inputs from Dr.Pallavi Joshi , Psychiatrist
Photograph via sxc.hu
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Valentine’s Day special – Tips for long lasting relationships! is a post from: mDhil