Tracee Ellis Ross on pressure to get married: ‘I’ve got so many things to do’

“I used to put myself to sleep dreaming of my wedding. And I would still love all of that, but what am I going to do, just sit around waiting?”

Tracee Ellis Ross isn’t married, and apparently, she’s tired of people asking her when that’s going to change.

In a candid new interview with Marie Claire, the wildly successful actress opens up about how no matter how much she achieves and how amazing of a life she’s built even she can’t escape feeling the societal pressures to tie the knot.

“Well, how could you not? Our society spoon-feeds it to you,” she responded when asked if she ever wanted a traditional family. “I used to put myself to sleep dreaming of my wedding. And I would still love all of that, but what am I going to do, just sit around waiting? Shut up. I’ve got so many things to do.”

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In addition to asking her critics to hush, the 48-year-old also reflected on the new normal that emerged during the COVID-19 pandemic. She specifically notes the trend of people putting on a bit of weight during quarantine and how that is nothing to be ashamed of.

“We’ve seen things and witnessed things with our eyes and our hearts that are unfathomable,” Ross opined. “So many hard edges in the world that perhaps the softness of our bodies is actually worthy of a thank-you. Perhaps our bodies are wiser than we are and are doing all of the work that we cannot do in these moments to allow a gentleness and a softness and a cushion around our heart and our most delicate and soft spaces.”

“I feel the sexiest I’ve ever felt,” she later teased during the interview. “It’s going to waste in the pandemic.”

The road to self-acceptance

While she’s in a great place now, Ross admits she wasn’t always so confident in her skin, especially during her 20’s, a decade where she struggled to be her authentic self.

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“I was so uncomfortable in my own skin,” she reveals. “I was so busy trying to be who I thought everybody else wanted me to be, and there was no space for me. I had wreaked havoc on my soul, and it was torturous.”

And for anyone who assumed her road to stardom was easy just because her mother is the iconic Diana Ross, her best friend of nearly three decades, Samira Nasr, begs to differ.

“The assumption is, ‘Oh, you’re the daughter of someone famous. It must’ve flung open all the doors for you.’ It certainly brought a level of curiosity, but I think when she walked through the doors, people were like, ‘Now what?’ And she really had to figure out who she wanted to be as a performer and what she wanted to say.”

While Ross didn’t make it a habit to ride her mother’s coat tails, Nasir – who also happens to be the editor in chief of Harper’s Bazaar magazine – says her bestie definitely inherited Diana’s epic sense of fashion.

It’s impeccable,” she concludes while gushing about the actress’s closet. “Impeccable. You’ll never meet a person who can fold a more perfect sweater or T-shirt in your life. Everything has a place. It’s actually a great closet to steal from because you can see everything.”

When asked what comes next, Ross explains that stand-up comedy and a music album could both be on the horizon, but regardless of how either of those things is received, she still trusts herself to be ok.

“At this age, a mistake can be processed as a mistake, not ‘I’m a mistake.’ This is the beauty of it. I’m 48 years old, and there’s so much more to try.”

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