The Funniest Things That Kids Say

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Christine Coppa and her son. (Photo: Christine Coppa)

Me and my 7-year-old son Jack were recently waiting in line at Barnes & Noble to buy children’s books when he looked at the magazine rack and asked, “Mom, why would anyone be on a magazine with no shirt on?”

I asked him why he thought the model wasn’t wearing a shirt. “Because she’s crazy. And drank too much wine,” he answered.

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While his answer was certainly creative, he’s not the only kid to blurt out hilarious comments. Ahead, parents share the outrageously funny things their kids have said. 

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“I was shopping at Sam’s Club with my sons, 8, and 2, and had to use the ladies room, so we all shuffled in. After I flushed and emerged from the stall, my youngest clapped and said, ‘Good job, mama! You went potty.’” —Jena Osterman. 

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(Photo: Jena Osterman)

“My 3-year-old son told me he’s never getting married because he doesn’t like to dance with people.” —Nicole Amesti.

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(Photo: Nicole Amesti)

“When I asked my daughter what she wanted for her birthday she answered, an in-ground pool, a parrot, an American Girl doll, and a lamp.” —Kathy O’Reilly.

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(Photo: Kathy O’Reilly)

“Last year, I was trying to wean my youngest off his pacifier when his 6-year-old sister said, ‘You have to get rid of that thing and move on with your life!’” —Melissa Scrittorale.

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(Photo: Melissa Scrittorale)

“'Can I have a cheeseburger with no cheese and no bun?’” —Laura P.

“‘Did you have a life before I was in your belly?’” —Petra G.

“When my sister told my family she was going to Miami, my son replied, ‘It’s not My-ami, it’s Your-ami.’” —Katie Miceli.

“One day, my daughter yelled from the kitchen, ‘Mom! I made a steak.’ I thought she had ‘cooked’ a rubber steak in her play kitchen. Instead, I found a gallon’s worth of milk spilled on the floor. She said, ‘I told you, I made a mmm-steak.’ Yep. A mistake.” —Carol G.

“‘Daddy, you always say you bring home the bacon. Well, mommy brought home a lot more groceries today than you!’” —Kevin Finn.

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