The Biggest Lesson Traveling Taught Me About Urban Life
Living and working in New York City can be a challenge — but I’m finding my way. (Photo: Jose Franco)
I forget when I learned the definition of equanimity — it was at some point during my travels — but I do remember thinking that I did not possess it. Equanimity is defined as mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation: the stuff of army generals, presidents, and English people.
The opposite of equanimity is volatility, which means excitability and unpredictability — and that’s more my style. Like a puppy, I’m easily riled up, and quick to feel disappointed. In a matter of 24 hours, I can be floating with happiness and then folding into myself with despair shortly after. Friends know I don’t have a poker face. I’m “real” almost to a fault.
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This personality trait is magnified when I travel. Not surprisingly, I unravel when I lose control, i.e. when I’m running late or feeling lost, or when I’m subject to confusing public transportation and traffic and unfamiliar street signs. On the flip side, I get so excited when I have control and feel entirely self-sufficient.
Happy days in Nicaragua. (Photo: Christine Amorose)
In fact, I once wrote that the greatest feeling I had while traveling was one of self-sufficiency, as in, “Yes, I can carry all of my bags and find my hostel down three different alleys and sort out an awesome place to eat ALL BY MYSELF.” I didn’t realize how much I could do until I did it. I never thought I could backpack through Europe on my own, move to Australia on my own, or travel to Southeast Asia on my own — until I booked the ticket without looking back.
I recently settled back into a full-time life in New York after a couple years of traveling. And here’s the thing: I’m learning that my favorite travel feeling, self-sufficiency, isn’t just reserved for the road. It can happen at home, too.
Related: What Traveling for a Living Taught Me About Life
Mastering the art of self-sufficiency in NYC. (Photo: Christine Amorose)
I’ve moved apartments by myself, painted my room by myself, and put together IKEA furniture by myself. Had I moved back to my home state, California, I never would have discovered that I’m capable of being self-sufficient when I’m not on the road. I would have called my dad to help me paint or assemble furniture (or, more likely, tried to do it on my own, made a mistake, lost interest, and then called him to bail me out, as I did throughout college). I would have convinced my guy friends to help me move or set up my router, with promises of a 30-pack or a plate of homemade cookies. I simply wouldn’t have had to push myself.
Related: How Travel Taught Me That Anything is Possible
I’m starting to realize that perhaps you don’t have to travel across the world to discover yourself, to realize what you’re capable of accomplishing on your own. But it sure helps to start out that way. Seeing how self-sufficient I was abroad taught me that I could do it in the first place, so I felt more confident adopting that mentality on my home turf, too.
The big lesson: Self-sufficiency does not exist solely in 16-hour plane rides, day-long bus adventures in Vietnam, and successfully giving directions in a second language. It exists whenever we stop saying that we can’t do something and simply do it, when we push ourselves out of our comfort zone into new and unfamiliar territory. Wherever that territory may be.
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