Anti-zombie strongholds for sale
So the rumor is that the zombie apocalypse may have arrived. Sure, the Centers for Disease Control denies it, but what does the CDC know? Just to be on the safe side, Realtor.com put together a list of prime zombie-defense real estate capable of putting those with an unquenchable thirst for human flesh at a distance from you and your family. (You can see many more pictures of these strongholds and others at Realtor.com. This slideshow is adapted from Realtor.com with its permission.)
Epic Lake Castle in Miami, FL
The Skinny: This insanely symmetrical, moat-surrounded masterpiece was designed by architect Charles Sieger. While it lacks a working drawbridge, simply destroying the only path that leads into the compound would be a logical first step.
Bonus Zombie Defense Feature: The rapper Birdman filmed a music video here, so there’s likely to be an automatic weapon or two that got left behind.
Nuclear Missile Silo Home in Saranac, NY
The Skinny: For a home that can withstand a zombie apocalypse, not to mention a nuclear apocalypse and other various apocalypses, $750,000 is a freakin’ bargain. Anyway, it’s a former nuclear silo-turned-luxury home. How cool is that?
Bonus Zombie Defense Feature: Paved air-strip gets a nod, but the real bread and butter is the former launch control center that sits behind doors made of three-inch concrete and mesh, 125 feet underground. Oh, and there’s a Jacuzzi down there, too.
Fortified Manse in Los Angeles, CA
Price: $5.9 million
The Skinny: This crazy compound is the (paranoid?) masterpiece of one AI V. Corbi, the founder of a company called SAFE (Strategically Armored & Fortified Environments) that specializes in stuff like mounting lasers on sharks, build missile-proof yachts, line Escalades with tank armor, panic rooms, etc. It’s also set on a private hilltop behind a pair of gates, and has a helipad.
Bonus Zombie Defense Feature: Not one, but two panic rooms and a pair of “safe cores,” which is basically when all the bedrooms go on lock-down mode with the twist of a doorknob.
East Sister Rock Island in Marathon, FL
Price: $12 million
The Skinny: Private, remote island with its own breaker that has been designed to be self-sustaining with wind turbines and solar panels.
Bonus Zombie Defense Feature: Property includes not only a dock, but also a helicopter pad for making your escape, which might come in handy if the zombies pull a "Dawn of the Dead" reboot and figure out how to make a ship out of corpses.
Castle Rogue’s Manor in Eureka Springs, AR
Price: $1.8 million
The Skinny: A massive and secluded mountain castle that could potentially provide residence for the masses. Also includes a six-floor “Gate’s Keeper” cottage, great hall and other structures.
Bonus Zombie Defense Feature: A pair of guard towers and other tall structures for scouting and medieval archer (and sniper) defense.
Modern Castle in Austin, TX
Price: $5.25 million
The Skinny: Concrete façade and a rooftop deck for headshot contests. Just under 4 acres and over 12,500 square feet provides enough room to take in a roaming survivor or two, you know, to help fight off forces, grow crops, repopulating Earth, etc. Pick and choose wisely, folks.
Bonus Zombie Defense Feature: 200-foot wood and steel escape home that leads from the main home to a private boathouse on the lake.
Missile-Proof Window Home in Cedar Key, FL
The Skinny: The name of this place kind of says it all, doesn’t it?
Bonus Zombie Defense Feature: Double-lock ship’s doors and Galvalume siding make this one pad that the walking dead wouldn’t want to mess with.
Jamesburg Earth Station in Carmel Valley, CA
Price: $3 million
The Skinny: A former space communications satellite used during the Kennedy administration that’s loaded with tons of tech stuff (albeit dated tech stuff). Other amenities include a 97-foot satellite, helipad, on-site gym and power generators.
Bonus Zombie Defense Feature: If you manage to get this thing running, you might be able to contact an extraterrestrial life force to do one of two things: 1) kill the zombies or 2) repopulate the earth with half-human, half-alien beings.