'I survived you': Ramapo College kidnapping victim confronts defendant at sentencing

HACKENSACK — A young woman told the man who pleaded guilty to kidnapping her that she is no longer a victim when she confronted him at his sentencing on Monday.

With her family and friends at her back, Alexis Ruhlen read her victim impact statement to the court, describing her harrowing experience as Pawel Sliwinski, her boyfriend of two years, kidnapped her at knifepoint from the Ramapo College of New Jersey campus on Oct. 13, 2022.

"I am leaving this courtroom not as a victim, but as a survivor," Ruhlen said. "I refuse to live my life labeled as a victim because of you. I survived you, and I will not only continue to survive through the tough battles that stand in my way, but I will thrive. I will use my strength to move mountains and to stand up for those who are unable to stand up for themselves."

She detailed the threats he made, how he punched her repeatedly in the face as he made her drive to New York's Woodbury Common Premium Outlets, and how he said he would torture her, kill her and dismember her in Harriman State Park and then kill himself.

"Saving myself was my most difficult accomplishment but the one of which I was most proud," Ruhlen said.

Sliwinski pleaded guilty to first-degree kidnapping, but he had faced several other charges including aggravated assault, burglary, assault with a weapon, stalking and making terroristic threats. Those charges were dismissed under the plea deal. He was sentenced to seven years in state prison by Superior Court Judge James Sattely.

Ruhlen said the physical abuse began six months into her relationship with Sliwinski and continued for a year and a half before it culminated in her kidnapping. She told the court she tried to break up with Sliwinski multiple times, but that he would threaten her and her family, break into her home and take her cat, and threaten her job, friends and education.

In a separate statement to NorthJersey.com, Ruhlen said she is happy to be able to move on to the next chapter of her life.

"While what happened to me hurt me in unimaginable ways, both short and long term, it gave me strength and resilience," Ruhlen said. "I am free, I can breathe and I am at peace. I am living my life on my own terms."

She said she will not stop in her fight to bring awareness to domestic violence and "to break the cycle."

During her argument for Sliwinski to receive a seven-year sentence, Assistant Prosecutor Vered Adoni read the bombardment of text messages Ruhlen received from Sliwinski over the year and a half of abuse, including the four hours she was in classes before the kidnapping.

Adoni said that within those four hours, Sliwinski sent her 43 emails and 17 pages of text messages, which included threatening to pop her car tires if she didn't reveal her location and how he would kill everyone in her class and rip her out of the classroom by her hair if she didn't cooperate.

The prosecutor said Sliwinski hid in the trunk of Ruhlen's car before he wrapped his arm around her neck and told her to drive. She said he held the knife to her throat and told her he was going to hold her by her throat over a cliff, torture her, dismember her and then sew her back together. He said he would kill her and then himself so there would be a Netflix show about them.

Sliwinski's attorney, Brian Neary, sought a sentence of five years for his client. He argued that Sliwinski's age was a big factor in his actions, noting he was only 19 at the time of the kidnapping. He said Sliwinski suffers from a slew of mental illnesses, including major depressive disorder, borderline personality disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder.

Sliwinski gave a statement apologizing for his actions, breaking into tears as he spoke. He said he allowed "emotion and immaturity" to dictate his future and said he believed this experience "woke him up."

He apologized to his family for putting them through this, as well as to Ruhlen and her family. He said they opened their doors to him and provided "experiences, culture and positivity."

"I'll never forget what I squandered," Sliwinski said. "No amount of apologies will ever be enough. All I ask for is forgiveness and the opportunity to continue my education as soon as possible."

While Sattely acknowledged there were mental health problems and that Sliwinski showed remorse for his actions, he agreed with the prosecution that he should be sentenced to the seven years in prison outlined in the plea agreement.

"No one wins here," Sattely said when handing down the sentence.

The judge said he hoped Sliwinski took to heart how his actions affected everyone in the courtroom, including his own family.

"I do hope this was a huge wake-up call," Sattely said, telling Sliwinski he hopes the man will take advantage of every possible program and counseling the penal system provides.

Sattely said Sliwinski showed a clear "lack of maturity" with his actions and throughout the relationship. He did not think there was a great chance of reoffense and noted that Sliwinski did not have a criminal history before these charges.

Sliwinski will be required to serve 85% of his sentence because of the No Early Release Act, cannot have contact with Ruhlen, and will have five years of parole supervision when he is released from prison.

This article originally appeared on NorthJersey.com: Ramapo College NJ kidnapping victim confronts defendant