Summer Olympics Closing Ceremony Review: Finally, an End to These Weird Rio Games
The closing ceremonies for the 31st Summer Olympics in Rio on NBC were an indication of just how exhausted everyone has become from the last 16 days. A mere two weeks have passed since Matt Lauer, Hoda Kotb, and Meredith Vieira set the stage for what would ultimately become a global demonstration of the Ugly American trope. In lieu of those three heavy-hitters, the closing ceremonies were hosted by Mary Carillo, Ryan Seacrest, and Mike Tirico finishing things the way they began–by complaining that Brazil thinks Alberto Santos-Dumont is the true father of aviation. “They’re not letting this go,” the announcers sniped.
Somehow, the last two weeks have crammed in everything, from Katie Ledecky’s triumphs to Ryan Lochte’s implosion; Daily Beast journalist Nico Hines’ widely condemned outing stunt; Hope Solo’s epic dis of her Swedish rivals; the online bullying of Gabby Douglas. In fact, Douglas is apparently one of the few American athletes for whom consequences had actions–that’ll teach her to not put her hand on her heart! And as for the athletes from other countries, unless their names were Usain Bolt or Tom Daley they were mostly ignored–with the exception of that Japanese pole vaulter who had the misfortune of toppling over when it appeared as if his package hit the pole. Much to his dismay, his eminently GIF-able moment launched a thousand pun-filled headlines.
After all that drama, no wonder the closing ceremony felt anti-climactic, even in the midst of a downpour. Brightly clad performers performing synchronized, Carnivale-esque routines and small children singing the Brazilian national anthem just can’t compete with the tone-deaf ramblings of commentators and the literal finger-wagging of American swimmers. Somehow watching projections of athletes awkwardly dancing and posing in front of a green screen (as they inexplicably did while Julia Michaels and Kygo performed) lacks the same I-gotta-jump-on-Twitter-right-now urgency as hearing a female athlete’s accomplishments attributed to the man in her life.
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At least we were treated to the first meeting of the international Simone Biles fan club as the athletes entered the stadium, most of them promptly joining a long procession of new Biles acolytes pausing to take a selfie with her. That almost made up for the numerous repetitive Busby Berkeley-lite choreographed numbers celebrating Brazil, including one dedicated to lace. Luckily, Seacrest gave Brazilian music his seal of approval–“I love the beat!”–so we all knew that it was OK to enjoy it.
In fact, the highlight of the closing ceremony came from 2020’s host, Tokyo. From the moment the Prime Minister turned into everyone’s favorite mustachioed plumber, Mario, and emerged on stage from a green pipe to the sleek, elegant 2020 logo, Tokyo’s production was crisp, sharp, and actually moved–everything that Rio, from opening to closing, was missing. Even the extinguishing of the torch felt a little second-rate, coming as it did accompanied by stage rain shortly after the real-life downpour ended. Like the rest of these Olympics, it had the best of intentions and the most lackluster of executions.
But hey–at least the Rio Olympics served everyone an important lesson in geography. Now we all know exactly where Tonga is.
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