Some Suggestions for Republicans’ Laundry List of Idiotic Bills

With all of the problems facing the country, House Republicans have decided that next week is the perfect time to do the laundry. And fix the air conditioning. And take a look at the fridge.

Seriously, that’s the focus of six bills the House Rules Committee put on its schedule for next week. The committee is usually the last place bills are reviewed before they go to the House floor for votes.

Republicans fought hard last year to prevent the government from putting health and safety regulations on gas stoves. But why dishwashers and other home appliances are now the top priority is anyone’s guess. Spring cleaning, maybe? A distraction from House infighting? Trump’s use of the toilet to get rid of documents? House Democrats are trying to insert more important items into the bills, but they have no idea, either.

Some House Democrats decided to have some fun with the agenda, and one House Democratic amendment even proposed renaming one of the bills the “Make Appliances Great Again Act.”

In that spirit, here are a few bills that House Republicans could add to the list.

• Hampering Progress Act
  

• Free and Liberate the United States House Act (perhaps in November, or if Mike Johnson is removed)
  

• Stop Ousted American Presidents Act (probably more for Democrats)
  

• Toilet Regulation and Unqualified Master Plumber Act (because Donald Trump is obsessed with toilets)

• Make Gas Stoves Great Again Act

• Let Roombas Roam Free Act

• Don’t Touch My Dyson Act