Letters to Santa follow a time-honored format: a generic let's-get-this-out-of-the-way greeting to the jolly fat man, followed by an absurdly long list of desires deliberately overstacked so that you guarantee yourself at least a decent haul. Forbidden: asking for animals larger than a shoebox, threats of violence against Saint Nick.
Welcome, then, to 2013, where the new Santa list is this, via HuffPo:
Yes, that's a near-indecipherable hyperlink to Amazon, courtesy of Twitter user @Gequeoman (as HuffPo notes, it's unclear if it was actually written by a child). Click on it all you want, it's not going to open up the Amazon page, however. Stupid old-fashioned paper.
Anyway, recommendation to all the kids out there: when you're emailing Santa, clarity is key. He's got millions of letters to go through. You don't want yours cast aside because he can't translate what the heck you're writing. Make it easy for him!
[Update: Here's the original version, written by Zack Poitras. It appears this wasn't the work of a child at all ... this time.]