Procrastinaut: Light saber flashlights, grass iPhones and robot measuring cups

Patrick Rochon paints with light in a most unusual (and appealing) way.

Welcome back to the Procrastinaut, which we have devoted exactly zero words to analyzing Jeff Bezos buying the Washington Post. Instead, here are highlights from the Procrastinaut Tumblr — where @gilbertjasono and I curate thesublime and ridiculous day in, day out (follow the Tumblr here) — plus a few extra bonus attractions.

Star Wars Kid vs. Jackson Pollock:Patrick Rochon makes fluid designs by moving around in a martial arts-inspired dance while holding custom lightsaber flashlights,” reports Raw File. Watch Rochon elevate action painting to action-hero painting, and the resulting images, here.

Pet Sounds: The Tumblr Bass Dogs offers manipulated images of bass players, wherein their instruments are replaced by, you know, dogs.

Still Life: Check out the impressive “Moments In Movies” series of images by Australian artist WorkByKnight, who reinterprets “iconic film stills with [his] own visual language.”

Sign Of The Times: For a public media art show, Niklas Roy hooked up a security camera, a computer, and a “for rent” sign in an empty shop window. Result: As people walk by, the sign follows them. Fun video and gifs here and here.

Have You Ever Wanted To Encase Your iPhone In Grass? You’re in luck.

High Score: Triumph in this supremely stupid game by chunking your smartphone as far skyward as you can. What could go wrong?

Robot Measuring Cups:Achieve kitchen domination.” Part of Procrastinaut’s collection of Things That Look Like Other Things. (Thx: Chip G.!)

Hungry? Consider Chris Godfrey’s All In One, a 12-course meal in a can. Voila! You are no longer hungry!

Creative Destruction (or Destructive Creation?): For the project Rare et Magnifique, artist Adrianna Wallis bought 25 objects described with those words (“rare and beautiful”) on eBay. And then? She methodically smashed them all to dust, creating “a unique raw material — loaded with stories and subjective value.” Finally, she converted the rare and beautiful dust into identical ingots.

How About A Life-Size Reddit Alien Statue? Check.

Masterful Glitches: Alejandro Bombín’s large-scale acrylic paintings mimic the look of screwed-up digital images.

12 Minutes of Six Seconds: Best Vines So Far. Strangely transfixing.

And Finally: We need more secret handshakes. Seen good ones? Send them here.