Spiders could eat all humans in one year, and this petition wants to make it happen

Laura Vitto
Updated

The Washington Post either ruined or made your day on Tuesday when it published a bit of an analysis that suggests spiders could eat every human on Earth in one year if they really wanted to.

Now musician John Darnielle of the Mountain Goats is petitioning Senator Al Franken to help make that happen.

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It reads:

The WaPo piece that kicked off Darnielle's bid for swift human extinction bases its analysis on a study published this month on the global spider population's eating habits. 

Researchers Martin Nyffeler and Klaus Birkhofer found that spiders the world over consume, in total, between 400 and 800-million tons of prey per year. It's a set of numbers large enough to trigger a fear-induced blackout for anyone with arachnophobia.

After a bit of numbers crunching, WaPo guesses that the world's spiders could end us all in a year, if they really felt the need. So far, they've taken mercy on us. 

And while others were grappling with the concept of death-by-spider, Darnielle chose to take an active approach to the issue.

With 335 supporters and counting, others have embraced his cause with enthusiasm. 

Happy 2017.

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