New South Side Chicago bar has a strict set of rules...including no Cubs fans

Nothing breeds contempt faster than success. Back in 2015, the Chicago Cubs were lovable, plucky losers—an up-and-coming team with a cool-dad manager and a roster stacked with exciting young talent vying to overcome the cruel injustices of the universe. Fast forward three years (and one World Series championship), and the Cubs have become a bandwagon underachiever for fans who are suddenly so obnoxious they're not even allowed into bars in their own city anymore.

Or at least that's the case with new South Side speakeasy The Hyde, which—in addition to banning cell phones and MAGA hats and like 1,000 other things—has also placed a moratorium on guests who feel like letting their Cubs fan fly.

Part of the reason for this stipulation, is that The Hyde is located smack dab in the heart of whatever's left of White Sox territory. The rest is international speakeasy dress code, which requires all patrons to dress like Peaky Blinders extras, not Northwestern frat boys. As owner Jovanis Bouargoub notes, however, it's all in good fun...mostly.

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“Some people don’t really see the humor in it,” he says of the shunned customers, "which is disturbing." But while Bouargoub finds it funny, it's not a joke. If you show up in a jersey, ball cap, or even a pair of white sox, you're gonna be sent packing, along with everyone else checking Instagram for The Hyde's password, which can only be found on their Instagram.

Seriously, we couldn't make this stuff up if we tried.