South Carolina offered free concessions. How I fared eating 10 hot dogs

I haven’t consumed a calorie all day. Success requires discipline and my prize fight was taking place at Colonial Life Arena at 5 p.m. on Friday night.

You see, for the final five home basketball games of December, South Carolina decided to run what can only be called the greatest promotion in all of sports: Free food.

Starting with the women’s hoops game on Dec. 17 against Presbyterian and ending with the men’s matchup against Florida A&M next Saturday, the Gamecocks offered free concessions at Colonial Life Arena.

Free hot dogs. Free popcorn. Free water. Free soda. Free. Free. Free.

All you had to do was download the Forever Garnet app and scan your barcode at the register.

South Carolina launched the app — which tracks games you attend, rewards you points and applies discounts for Gamecock Club members — back in August, but very few people used it. This promotion was a way to get South Carolina fans to download the app and get familiar with it.

Which, to USC, was far more valuable than whatever it lost in concession revenue.

“For us, money was never really a question,” said Joe O’Clair, USC’s assistant AD for marketing and fan experience. “We wanted to create memories. We wanted to create an experience. … For us, it was about getting people out here who maybe don’t come out in December.”

I have never craved a hot dog from Colonial Life Arena, but the word “free” is like a drug to my brain. I’m obsessed with free or near-free. Which is not exactly a good thing and the cost analysis of what is deemed free usually includes some sacrifice.

But, if nothing else, free food is a challenge in gluttony. Back in college, I was at a San Francisco Giants game on $1 hot dog night. I was not just sure I could down 10 hot dogs, I was placing bets on it. Problem was, I had not taken into account how large the hot dogs were. I tapped out after six.

Friday’s South Carolina men’s basketball game vs. Elon was a chance at redemption, to take full advantage of the best promo ever.

▪ HOT DOG #1: 5:07 p.m. // 53 min. until tip-off.

This might’ve been the worst hot dog I’ve ever eaten. The actual meat was fine but the bun was constructed out of saltines. I don’t ask much of my hot-dog buns, but I don’t enjoy when they crunch with every bite.

I tore off most of the burned cardboard — or, rather, bread — and still chowed it down in a second.

A father and son walked by me holding hot dogs, popcorn and sodas of their own. They looked just as excited as me.

“This is our first time seeing anything like this,” said the dad, Ryan, of the promotion.

▪ HOT DOG #2: 5:09 p.m. // 51 min. until tip-off.

I snagged the first two dogs at the same stand, which means another hot dog smothered by a rock. But starvation makes you desperate and No. 2 might have gone down faster than No. 1.

My confidence was high. Too high. I walked around the arena in search of a counterpart. I was Apollo Creed looking for my Rocky — searching for motivation for when my stomach felt heavy and the hot dogs didn’t look so appealing.

I spotted this young guy sitting in the student section all alone. He was slouching in his chair, pouring popcorn into mouth like water. His name is Patrick Fitzhenry and he is not a student, but just a young guy who moved from Maryland to Columbia for work and is slowly becoming a USC hoops fan.

The free concessions, he admitted, intrigued him but he was going to show up regardless.

I told Fitzhenry about my plan to devour 10 hot dogs and inquired as to whether he had any inclination to try and set a personal record. C’mon, Patrick, I thought, go wild tonight.

“No, I’m not gonna do all that,” he said. “I don’t try and take advantage of stuff like that.”

You’re a better man than me, Patrick.

▪ HOT DOG #3: 5:28 p.m. // 32 min. until tip-off.

My stomach is starting to rumble. Not sure if that’s a good thing or not. But hot dog No. 3 has a soft bun and my faith in this free concessions promo is restored.

Still, I kept my eyes and ears out for competition.

One dude was walking down the stairs carrying three hot dogs, all wrapped in tinfoil.

“Those all for you?” I asked.

“Well,” he replied. “I’ve got kids.”

Whoops.

A few moments later, I overheard one of the most beautiful sentences ever uttered.

“I’m gonna need six hot dogs,” some man said.

“Six hot dogs?” I said, far too excitedly. “All for you?”

“All for the family,” he said in disgust.

▪ HOT DOG #4: 6:08 p.m. // Elon up 5-4 on South Carolina

I think I’ve found my competition. Jack Hudson, Zach Owens and Andrew Brumgardt are young bucks walking around the concourse looking like kids who just found a bucket of fireworks. They were each carrying two hot dogs when I approached them.

“I love it,” said Hudson. “I wish they’d do it more often.”

“We’re gonna run up the hot dogs all night.” Owens said. “My brother and I came last game and we had seven hot dogs each.”

“We’re gonna beat that,” Brumgardt added confidently.

The three are in college, but don’t attend South Carolina. (Two are at Wofford and the other goes to Roanoke College.) They came to the game solely for the free concessions, walking up to will call before the game and spending $10 for dinner and a show.

▪ HOT DOG #5: 6:45 p.m. // South Carolina up 30-20 on Elon at halftime.

There has not been this much popcorn consumed since “Barbenheimer”. You try and order just a hot dog and the incredible concession folks just slide you popcorn. It seems every soul is sipping kernels out of the little buckets. One guy was walking to his seat, using what looked like every square inch of his skin to hold seven popcorn containers.

But who was I to judge?

The only guys I judged were standing at a table each with two free hot dogs, two free popcorns, a free soda and a Little Caesars pepperoni pizza that they bought.

“Why the heck did you buy a pizza?” I asked.

“You’ve got to,” one of them said.

I still have no idea what that means. But they walked over to the condiment bar with me and I asked them how many hot dogs they were gonna put down.

“Just these,” one of them said, pointing to his two dogs.

I explained my goal to consume double-digits and another man squirting relish on his dogs chimed in.

“I believe in you,” he said, shockingly not sarcastic.

“How many are you gonna eat?” I asked him.

“I’m going for four.”

“That’s it?” I responded.

“Well I’ve got a head start on you,” he said, patting his stomach like Santa.

▪ HOT DOG #6: 6:55 p.m. // South Carolina up 30-20 on Elon at halftime.

I swear, these hot dogs were aging like wine. Every one was better than the last. Perhaps the concessions folks from Aramark were cooking them fresh in the back. Maybe pounds of beef had altered my mental state.

I swallowed No. 6 and my ego filled the arena. Perhaps 10 was gonna be too easy.

I went to buy dogs No. 7 and No. 8 at the same time. The concession lines, which were once over 40 people deep, were shrinking.

▪ HOT DOG #7: 7:12 p.m. // South Carolina up 40-24

I’m slowing down. These wieners are humbling me.

▪ HOT DOG #8: 7:19 p.m. // South Carolina up 45-28

This one hurts to look at. The first bite takes almost 30 seconds to go down. I’m secretly hoping the concession stands are closed so I can give up on this challenge then tell everyone, “Well, I would have eaten 10 but they stopped selling too early.”

I needed 10 minutes to finish this one. Two more to go.

▪ HOT DOG #9: 7:38 p.m. // South Carolina up 56-39.

I waltzed over to the concession stand to buy the final two dogs. It was still open … sadly. There wasn’t a soul in line and the lady working the counter looked exhausted. “This is our first break we’ve got all night,” she said.

At that concession stand alone, she said, they’d probably gone through 700 hot dogs. I didn’t tell her it would have only been 690 without me.

No. 9 is painful to eat. I had to close my eyes and plug my nose to ensure I didn’t upchuck all over the media table. After 11 minutes, it finally all settled in my stomach.

Before I started No. 10, I spotted Hudson, Owens and Brumgardt sitting in the stands. I needed to know if they were on my pace. Just under two hours prior, they had all told me they were gonna eat eight hot dogs each. Apparently these kids do not have the inner drive to devour pounds and pounds of arena hot dogs with no reward.

Hudson had finished three. The other two put down four. Rookie numbers.

▪ HOT DOG #10: 7:49 p.m. // South Carolina wins 70-43

I took the first bite of No. 10 just before the buzzer sounded. It would take 32 minutes until I took the last bite. And every moment in between was punishment.

I want to bathe in Pepto.