Someone edited “Star Wars: The Last Jedi” to remove almost all women from the hit movie and anonymously uploaded the result to The Pirate Bay website on Monday.
Entitled “The Last Jedi: De-Feminized Fanedit,” the illegal torrent is described by the uploader “the chauvinist cut” and “basically The Last Jedi minus Girlz Powah and other silly stuff.”
The misogynistic edit is a mere 46 minutes, which the uploader notes was “not ideal,” but “it had to be done.” (The real version is 2 hours, 32 minutes.) The uploader included a list of everything taken out:
- No whiny/reluctant/murderous psycho Luke.
- NO HALDO! She simply doesn’t exist. Her whole subplot doesn’t exist. The Kamikaze is carried out by Poe. ( = Poe dies.)
- Leia never scolds, questions nor demotes Poe.
- Lea dies. Kylo kills her.
- Kylo is more badass and much less conflicted and volatile.
- Kylo takes on more of Snoke’s guards, Rey struggles with a single one.
- No bomber heroism by china girl in the beginning.
- No Canto Bight.
- No superpowered Rey.
- Luke is not a semi-force-ghost and is smashed by the first laser cannon shot. (sorry, I just had to!)
- Phasma is finished after the first blow by Finn. (Women are naturally weaker than men, she isn’t force-sensitive, and we know nothing about any exo-skeleton in her suit)
- Asian chick speaks less, doesn’t bully Finn, Finn doesn’t try to escape, she is never formally introduced. She is just there and occasionally smiles at Finn or screams “Finn!”. She has no sister. Serves her right for all the heinous stuff she did.
- Lots of little cuts reducing the number of female facial shots. Too many to count. (Pun intended.)
- Quite a few scenes rearranged so that the flow of the shortened movie is still somewhat coherent.
As if this cut of the film could be any more idiotic, the uploader says in another note that “there are plotholes and continuity errors and some cuts are not as smooth as they should be, especially audio transition-wise.” The “intro sequence is now very watchable and actually much cooler without all of Leia’s nitpicking,” the person continues.
The revised version is so absurd that it’s laughable. Even “The Last Jedi” director Rian Johnson saw the humor:
Priscilla hits all the major points here but I’ll just add hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha https://t.co/f0bKJ9NeUe— Rian Johnson (@rianjohnson) January 16, 2018
As did some of “The Last Jedi” cast. Here’s what Mark Hamill and John Boyega said of the cut:
Agreed. But let me add