Well, this year at least. Elsewhere in today's showbiz news: Jessica Biel gets cold feet, Abraham Lincoln returns in November, and we just might have our Finnick Odair.
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Forbes has released a list of TV's highest paid actresses, and Modern Family's Sofa Vergara is at the top of it. She earned some $19 million from May 2011 to May 2012, largely because of endorsement deals with Pepsi and I dunno some makeup thing and an advance on a clothing line for Kmart. So, good for her! That's a lotta scratch. The funny thing about the rest of the list is that the next three "actresses" are two Kardashii and Bethenny Frankel. Who are certainly not actresses. They're not terribly real on their shows, but they ain't actresses. Anyway, they all made well over ten million dollars each last year, so why don't we all go bury ourselves in a ditch somewhere because forget it. Just forget it. Zooey Deschanel made $9 million last year. We're all doomed or dead. Just send our widows a corsage. A cheap one, though! We're not made of money. [Forbes]
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So this is from this morning and it's not entirely confirmed, but whatever, we have to talk about it right now. Right now! Lionsgate may have found the guy they want to play Hunger Games winner turned sexy sex slave, like the sexiest sex slave, Finnick Odair in Catching Fire. Yes, finally. The creature they have made in a lab somewhere — because no human ephebe could ever actually be beautiful enough -- is finally ready. Hm? What's that? Oh, wait, nope, no, never mind, am being told it's a human guy, a guy from the last Pirates of the Caribbean movie. It's this dinky dude, Sam Claflin, who was recently in Snow White and the Huntsman. So. Hm. OK. That's... He's cute and all, sure. But, like, he's just that. He cute. He not Finnick. He Peeta. Oh well. Let's not be too upset. It's the Hunger Games movies, guys. That's all. We will survive. Oh, and they also are going to cast Tony Shalhoub in the movie. Now there's a Finnick! Wowee! I mean, it's right there in the books. "Then a man named Finnick walked in who looked just like the character Monk from Monk, a 'television program' they had back before the wars." Come on, Lionsgate. Just read the damn books. It's all in there. [Variety]
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Amy Adams is doing another movie with her The Fighter director David O. Russell, another based-on-a-true-story type of thing, this one about a conman who helps the FBI figure out a major national corruption case. Adams will play the grifter's girlfriend. Hm. Just like she did in Catch Me If You Can. Only this time she's less innocent, I guess. Meanwhile Bradley Cooper is playing the Leo DiCaprio part while Jeremy Renner is Tom Hanks. You Can't Catch Me: Can 2. [The Hollywood Reporter]
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Disney has announced the release date(s) for Steven Spielberg's big upcoming Abraham Lincoln biopic, Abraham Lincoln: Spot Resolutions Hunter. The film, written by Tony Kushner and starring Daniel Day-Lewis, will open in limited release on 11/9 and then go wide on 11/16. Wait, do you get it? "11/16"? Like how Abraham Lincoln was the 16th president and was 11 feet tall?? That's some pretty clever thinking! Can't wait for the cherry tree chopping scene. [Deadline]
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Oh dear. Jessica Biel was just in talks on Friday to be the lady superhero opposite Hugh Jackman in The Wolverine, and now she's already out of the project. Apparently she got "cold feet." Good grief, get it together, Biel. Sure it's probably super hard and scary to train like crazy and wear a tight latex suit and have yourself exposed for international scrutiny, but you're an actor, that's what you do. So let's hope it wasn't really cold feet. If it wasn't, there's we have another theory of what it could have been. A little of the "Oh holy sh*t I'm marrying Justin Timberlake so I probably don't actually ever have to work again, so screw going to the gym like a maniac for the next billion months, I'm going to Paris." And girl, if that's the case, we feel you. [The Hollywood Reporter]
Here is a gallery of a bunch of new posters for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2 featuring all manner of vamps old and new. This is a good gallery if for no other reason than it reminds us all how silly and terrible everyone looks in these movies' cheaply done vampire makeup. "We all have colds but we want to go to the school ghost party anyway, so here we are." Just terrible! [Entertainment Weekly]