Should You Allow Your Teenager To Drink At Home? The Great Debate
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Teenagers and alcohol often go together like fire and gasoline: The effects can be explosive. That’s why some parents allow their teens to drink alcohol at home under their supervision, rather than risk them putting themselves in dangerous situations, such as drinking and driving.
Although it’s illegal in the U.S. to drink alcohol if you’re under the age of 21, that’s not necessarily a hard-and-fast rule. According to the Wall Street Journal, 31 states permit parents to provide alcohol to minors, and 30 states allow those under 21 to drink for religious reasons, such as wine at church.
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So, it is a savvy move on the parents’ part to allow teens to drink at home where they can keep an eye on them? Or can these good intentions backfire?
The Research
Although teenagers drink less often than adults — likely due to a lack of access to alcohol — they compensate when they do imbibe: On average, underage drinkers consume more drinks per occasion than adults, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). In fact, about 90 percent of the alcohol consumed by the under-21 crowd in the U.S. is in the form of binge drinks (defined by five or more drinks), according to the CDC.
Some parents might argue that by allowing teens to drink under their supervision, they can limit the amount consumed. And that’s (sort of) true, but social environment also plays a role. One survey of more than 6,200 American teens published in the Journal of Adolescent Health found that when parents provided alcohol at a party, they were twice as likely to binge drink and drink regularly. But when teens drank alcohol with their parents—say, at dinner—they were only a third as likely to binge drink and half as likely to be regular drinkers.
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However, access to alcohol at a young age can carry serious consequences. A 2009 study showed that binge drinking two to three times a month affected teens’ brain structure and function. The study found that teenagers who drank heavily fared worse on thinking and memory tests than ones who didn’t drink. Consuming alcohol in adolescence also increases the risk of developing a problem later on: Kids who begin before the age of 15 are five times more likely to experience alcohol dependence in life than those who start drinking after the age of 21, reports the CDC.
What the Experts Say
“Many well-intentioned parents think that supplying alcohol for their child to drink at home may teach them how to ‘drink responsibly’ and might prevent them from drinking elsewhere,” says Steve Pasierb, president and CEO of the Partnership for Drug-Free Kids, on DrugFree.org. “But the truth is that early consumption of alcohol in any context increases the likelihood of harmful effects in the long run. What’s more, studies have shown that when parents supply alcohol to their kids, it actually increases the risk for continued consumption during childhood and lifetime problem drinking. Drinking in the home does not prevent children from drinking outside the home or with their friends.”
Sharon Ofer, M.D., director of the Adolescent Substance Abuse Program at Boston Children’s Hospital agrees. “While well intentioned, I think it is a very bad idea to allow teens to drink at home,” Ofer tells Yahoo Health. “Recent data show that about 90 percent of all alcohol consumed by adolescents is in the context of a binge. While binge drinking is one way for teens to satisfy the normal drive for adventure, it is very dangerous, and parent supervision cannot protect them. It is also illegal. Every year teens drinking at ‘supervised house parties’ die from drowning, cold exposure and other accidents, even after a parent took away the keys.”
Others argue that context matters: “There’s a giant difference between a kid who gets totally wasted on some purloined booze in the woods with his friends, and someone who has wine at dinner with their parents or as part of a religious ceremony,” Stanton Peele, a psychologist and author of books on addiction, tells the Wall Street Journal.
By letting teenagers drink at home only on special occasions, such as holidays or religious ceremonies, some consider these moments opportunities to foster a responsible attitude. “…It does de-mystify drinking and makes it less of a ‘forbidden fruit,’” Richard Horowitz, parenting coach and author of “Family Centered Parenting” tells SheKnows.com.
What the Parents Say
“My teenage daughter has had a few sips of alcohol around us. But she isn’t drinking per se. I know this because we have pretty frank conversations. Hopefully we’ll do lots of talking in the next few years about the consequences of drinking.” —Beth H.
“When our kids were 12 or 13, if we opened a bottle of wine at dinner, we let them taste it. As they got older, we asked that they drank at home, that they drank within their limits (one or two drinks within a span of several hours), and if they did drink, that they would call us for a ride no matter what time—no questions asked—or take a cab home. It’s worked for us.” —Sara A.
“I’d rather my kids drink at home under my care than some other place. I don’t think they drink — at least not my daughter. Maybe my son will eventually, but hopefully he’ll be careful.” —Kachina K.
The Bottom Line
Parents should decide whether they’re comfortable with the potential risks of letting teenagers drink alcohol at home or whether it’s better to limit drinking to special occasions only—or not at all. “The best approach to teens and alcohol is to talk about alcohol—your concerns, your expectations for your children,” says Ofer, “and to answer their questions, as well as set a good example yourself.”
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