Shelter puts on a Día de las Madres celebration for domestic violence survivors in Phoenix
Eight years have passed since the last time Abi Ramirez, mother and survivor of domestic violence, set foot in the De Colores shelter in downtown Phoenix to celebrate Mother's Day — a place that welcomed her and her son for close to a year and offered them a safe space to rebuild their lives.
On Thursday, a day before Mexican Mother's Day, she returned to the Chicanos Por La Causa-run shelter to celebrate her day with the rest of the shelter residents who are moms and the staff who gave her a hand when she needed it most.
Being back at the center filled her with bittersweet memories, Ramirez told La Voz Arizona/The Arizona Republic.
Ramirez, a native of Sonora, Mexico, had a partner — not the father of her child — who was verbally abusive with her. Fortunately, she said, they did not share a home and that helped her keep her son from harm's way. But when her partner began showing up unannounced at her son's school during his drop-off and pick-up, she decided things needed to change.
She wanted to put a stop to it before the situation escalated into something physical and affected her son directly. She began looking for help and it was at the church she attended where a woman who was volunteering told her about De Colores. At the end of July 2013, Ramirez arrived at the shelter with her little boy, who was then 6 years old.
Their lives have drastically changed thanks to the program, she said during the 38th annual Día de las Madres event at De Colores, a time of pampering, relaxation and entertainment.
De Colores, offering a helping hand since 1986
Thursday's event included many activities, from manicures and painting classes with the Uruguayan artist Carolina Benavidez to local Valley coffee vendor The Dreamy Bean and a taco stand. Live music was provided by the all-women's group Mariachi Pasión.
“The expectation is that they feel pampered, that they feel special because they are special, but they might not see that. We want them to forget for a moment that they are in a shelter and that they are in a happy place,” said Mayani Jinel, shelter manager.
This celebration, along with Children's Day and Back to School, are among those with the greatest impact at the shelter. Jinel mentioned that, when these celebrations are over, they immediately begin to plan for the following year.
De Colores, a bilingual support program for all families who are survivors of domestic violence, has been operating in Phoenix since 1986.
The program provides the necessary support to women, men and children, ranging from psychological help to legal advice. According to Jinel, eight out of every 10 families that arrive at the shelter looking for support due to domestic violence are mothers with children. The number of children these women have varies, but it never factors into their acceptance into the shelter.
Jinel said that they've seen mothers arrive with up to 10 children.
“Here at De Colores we accept very large families compared to other shelters. If there is a grandmother living in the home, the grandmother can come too. Also if they have adult children — there are women who have 24-year-old children, but they live at home with them. If mom is on the run, the 24-year-old son can come too. We also accept pets,” said Cindy Garcia, De Colores program director. “We don't want to separate families.”
According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline website, three in 10 women (29%) in the United States have experienced physical and verbal violence from their partner. This same violence affects more than 12 million people a year in the country, both men and women.
De Colores, offering a helping hand since 1986
Ramirez's stay at De Colores lasted 10 months. From July to September, Ramirez was in crisis — an admission process where orientation and therapies are a priority. From September until May 2014 (the date of her departure) she was in transition — a recovery process in which there is more freedom within the shelter where you can live with other residents and work.
She recalled the time spent there with her son warmly. The general support she received, the connections she made within the shelter, the medical aid provided that helped diagnose her son with hyperactivity and attention deficit disorder were just some of the many things Ramirez said she was grateful for.
“It was a Chicanos De Colores oasis, because you start from scratch and you think you know everything. Apart from the financial assistance, the home, the food they give you, the most important psychological help,” said Ramirez. “You don't realize how helpful it all is until later.”
Upon leaving and rebuilding her life, Ramirez and her son continued under the De Colores counseling program where her son continued getting treatment for his diagnosis.
Ramirez now takes her experience as motivation to help other people who are currently in the shoes she was in 11 years ago. At least three women survivors of domestic abuse have stayed at De Colores and moved forward with their lives thanks to her recommendation. Her hope is that many other mothers and women feel seen.
“(Women) don't have to endure any type of aggression,” Ramirez said. “Sometimes we may feel unable to get out of the situation and many times we minimize our feelings and emotions. We have to seek help to really understand how we are because sometimes we think we are fine and we are not. There are many organizations that, without having to pay, can help us.”
Resources for Arizonans experiencing domestic violence
Domestic violence victims seeking help, can visit the official CPLC De Colores website.
These are other resources available in the Valley:
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (7233)
Chrysalis: 602-944-4999, noabuse.org.
Arizona Coalition to End Sexual & Domestic Violence: 602-279-2980.
In Arizona, people can call the Arizona Coalition to End Sexual and Domestic Violence, 602-279-2900 or 1-800-782-6400 or visit its website, acesdv.org/helpline.
The Phoenix police website, www.phoenix.gov/domesticviolence, has a list of places people can contact in Maricopa County.
Reach La Voz Arizona reporter Paula Soria at psoriaaguilar@gannett.com.
This article originally appeared on Arizona Republic: Phoenix shelter celebrates all moms, especially abuse survivors
