Sexual assault is fun if we can all 'lighten up' about it

Arwa Mahdawi
Updated

A South Carolina congressman makes a joke about allegations facing Brett Kavanaugh and manages to belittle Ruth Bader Ginsburg at the same time

Ralph Norman, a South Carolina Republican congressman made an off-color joke about sexual assault and Ruth Bader Ginsburg at an election debate recently.
Ralph Norman, a South Carolina Republican congressman made an off-color joke about sexual assault and Ruth Bader Ginsburg at an election debate recently. Photograph: Mary Altaffer/AP

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Learn to ‘lighten up’ ladies, sexual assault is hilarious

South Carolina Republican congressman Ralph Norman is quite the jokester! On Thursday, the politician opened up an election debate with Democrat Archie Parnell by poking fun at the sexual assault allegations facing supreme court nominee Brett Kavanaugh.

“Did y’all hear this latest late-breaking news from the Kavanaugh hearings?” Norman asked the audience. “Ruth Bader Ginsburg came out that she was groped by Abraham Lincoln.” Get it? Get it? The joke is that sexual assault is hilarious.

While Norman’s joke got scattered laughter in the room, it was roundly condemned by a number of Democrats. Norman was then forced to explain that he was only trying “to add a bit of levity to a very serious debate” and “point to the circus-like atmosphere that Washington DC has become”. He also added that “people really need to learn to lighten up”.

Hear that? We all really need to lighten up about the fact that Kavanaugh, a man who has spent his career fighting against a woman’s right to bodily autonomy, may well be handed a lifetime appointment to the supreme court. We’re supposed to lighten up about the fact that the credible charges of sexual assault that have been levied against Kavanaugh have been treated like some kind of joke by Republicans. Oh, and let’s not forget the fact that we’re supposed to lighten up about the fact that you can be a trailblazer like RBG and still get turned into a sexual punchline by a mediocre white guy who thinks he’s hilarious.

It should be said, by the way, that the Democrats don’t come out of this looking good, either. Democratic nominee Archie Parnell tweeted a sanctimonious condemnation of the joke following the debate, but did not, for some reason, see fit to say anything to Norman while he was in the room with him. Perhaps he was embarrassed about the fact that he is far from a model feminist himself; divorce records show he physically abused his ex-wife in the 1970s. After news of the abuse surfaced last year, Parnell admitted to his actions (good), and apologized for them (good), but refused to let a little domestic violence ruin his political ambitions (bad). Parnell did not drop out of the congressional race, despite the fact that he was asked to, and many of his staff resigned. Male privilege is equally distributed across the political spectrum, you see. Far too many men, of all political persuasions, seem to feel like their ambitions are more important than any women that get hurt along the way.

But that’s a depressing note to end on. Lighten up, ladies. And why don’t you smile while you’re at it?

This man seems nice: Zach Wahls

After all this chat about horrible men, I think we may need to remind ourselves that #NotAllMen. So let me introduce you to 26-year-old Zach Wahls, who is a Democratic party candidate in the Iowa General Assembly election. Wahls, who is the son of two lesbians, went viral in 2011 after he delivered a moving speech in front of the Iowa House of Representatives defending marriage equality. He seems like a thoroughly decent person. Please, please don’t turn out to be douchebag, Zach.

#MeToo, 1. Glacier, 0

A glacier in Antarctica is the latest casualty of the #MeToo Movement. The US Board on Geographic Names has changed the name of Marchant Glacier to Matataua. This comes after geologist David Marchant, the glacier’s namesake, was accused of sexual harassment by multiple women. In February, Boston University put Marchant on administrative leave.

Vietnam has its first female president, America is still waiting

After Tran Dai Quang died at age 61, Dang Thi Ngoc Thinh has taken over as acting president.

Welcome to 2018, Harvard

The university’s prestigious Hasty Pudding theater troupe has cast its first women after nearly 200 years of all-male productions.

London’s Film Festival gets two thumbs up from feminists

38% of the films featured at next month’s London Film Festival are directed by women. That’s an unprecedented number and far better than the Venice Film Festival, where only one out of the 21 films in competition was directed by a woman.

Blessed be the sexy Handmaid Halloween costume

Inappropriate Halloween costume season has officially kicked off! On Thursday, the internet was up in arms about a sexy Handmaid costume that had just gone on sale – for $64.95! I rather liked the costume. I mean, I can’t think of a more fitting symbol of how capitalism commodifies and sells women’s oppression back to us – for $64.95! It’s the dystopian costume we deserve. Unfortunately, however, the backlash means that the manufacturer, Yandy, has decided to remove the costume from sale. If you’re disappointed, don’t worry, you can still buy luxury Handmaid’s Tale-inspired lingerie called Offred. Praise be!