Contrary to everything reality television has taught us, extremely lavish nuptials won't make you any happier — or, at least Internet mogul and noted partier Sean Parker does not sound too delighted after his $4.5 million ecological mess of a costume nerd wedding earlier this month. "My wife and I should be happy right now, elated to have been married," he told The Guardian's Paul Harris. That's especially true since everyone knows the dollar amount spent on a wedding directly correlates with happiness, right? And Parker spent at least $4.5 million prepping Big Sur for his arrival — plus another $2.5 million to contribute to the area damaged by his "production." But, alas, Parker is going through a bit of a tough time right now.
"Instead we are being spat upon by complete strangers while walking together on the street, cursed at by a waiter in a restaurant who had read bogus media reports about our wedding, and told by complete strangers that we should get our divorce papers ready," Parker said. See, the Napster and Facebook entrepreneur has made himself some enemies because of his ecologically unfriendly bash. Although he alleges "we want to crazy lengths to ensure that nothing in the forest was harmed during the construction process," his big party still has what he calls "eco-terrorists" a little upset. "There are crazy people on Facebook typing death threats," he told CNet's Paul Sloan. "There were people — eco-terrorists — on my own Facebook page saying, 'Let's find this guy and put him out of his misery'... Psychopaths are hunting me." Even Parker admitted "it's impossible to get everything exactly right at a production of this scale," which has some nature-minded people upset.
Parker doesn't understand this visceral reaction to the happiest day of his life. It wasn't even "tasteless" or even over-the-top, he argues. "I had a forest wedding where I made everyone wear silly outfits," said Parker, referring to his not-Game of Thrones fairy themed wedding. "Why is that an example of largesse? You could accuse me of being goofy, or whacky, but there was nothing particularly ostentatious about it." It's not the outfits, Sean.