Science Has Revealed The Key To A Long-Lasting Relationship Is ‘Settling’
A new study has revealed the key to a happy relationship could be settling [Caleb Morris/snapwiresnaps.tumblr.com via Pexels]
Bad news for anyone holding out for Mr Right. Science says the key to a lasting relationship is settling for Mr Right Now.
Flying in the face of the golden love advice our mums told us about never settling for anything less than we deserve, a new study has revealed that the secret to a long-lasting, happy relationship is doing just that.
How can this be? The bods at Texas University have found that relationship satisfaction doesn’t depend on how someone’s other half compares to their ideas of the perfect mate, but instead how they measure up to other options open to them in the dating pool.
“Satisfaction and happiness are not as clear cut as we think they are,” psychology researcher and the study’s author, Daniel Conroy-Beam explains.
“We do not need ideal partners for relationship bliss. Instead, satisfaction appears to come, in part, from getting the best partner available to us.” Mmmm.
Is he Mr Right or Mr Right Now? [Photo: Vladimir Kudinov via Pexels]
For the study, researchers simulated a mating pool from 119 men and 140 women who had been in long-term relationships. Each participant rated the importance of 27 traits in an ideal mate and the extent to which they felt each trait described both their actual partner and themselves. Researchers were then able to calculate each of the participants’ and their partners’ ‘mate value’, or ‘desirability’ within the mating pool. Participants also reported their relationship satisfaction and happiness.
The study revealed that relationship satisfaction was not dependent on how a partner compared with the idea of the perfect mate, but rather whether others in the mating pool better matched their ideal preferences.
In other words, those who felt they were punching above their weight were satisfied, whether or not their partners matched their ideal preferences. But, participants with partners considered less desirable than themselves were happy with their relationship only if their partner fulfilled their ideal preferences better than most other potential mates in the group.
Best of a bad bunch? [Photo: picography.co via Pexels]
In a follow-up study, the team tested relationship satisfaction again, but this time surveyed how much energy individuals spent on maintaining it. They found that those who felt their partner would be difficult to replace, whether because their partner was more desirable than themselves or closely matched their ideal traits than others in the group, reported being happier and more likely to up the effort in order to hang onto their other half.
Decoding the science speak is kinda giving us a headache, but what we think they mean is that if you think you can do better, you’ll likely feel a bit rubbish about your relationship. And Tinder and the like with their endless supply of potential new dates certainly aren’t helping with that.
So maybe those science bods are onto something. Because the other thing our mums were always banging on about is being grateful for what you’ve got.
And besides Ryan Gosling’s not available right now. Soz.
What do you think about the new research? Let us know @YahooStyleUK
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