Here are all the rumors why Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie split

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If you have been screaming, "Dear God, why?" ever since news of the Brangelina divorce hit but have not received a response from the heavens, we're here to intervene. 

Here are three of the rumors of why Angelina Jolie filed for a divorce from Brad Pitt just two years after officially tying the knot. 

SEE ALSO: Brangelina isn't alone: 6 more couples who broke up after making movies together

Angelina hired a private detective who caught Brad cheating with Marion Cotillard.

According to The Post, Jolie hired a private detective who uncovered his affair with his Allied co-star Marion Cotillard and predilection for Russian prostitutes. Cotillard has been in a relationship with French actor Gulliame Canet since 2007 and the couple share a son, Marcel, but the pair never married. 

This sounds a lot like Hollywood fan fiction, but would also be totally unsurprising. Pitt doesn't exactly have a squeaky clean record when it comes to cheating with co-stars.  

There are also rumors about Pitt reconnecting with ex Gwyneth Paltrow, but those seem significantly less likely. 

Angelina is concerned for the safety of her children.

According to a report from TMZ, Jolie filed for divorce because she feels Pitt's drug use and temper compromise the well-being of the couple's six children.

Jolie requested sole physical custody of the couple's six children, which lends credibility to this rumor. 

Robert Offer, Jolie's attorney, told Reuters in a statement, "This decision was made for the health of the family. She will not be commenting, and asks that the family be given its privacy at this time." 

Angelina broke up with Brad because he was interfering with her political ambitions.

Over the summer, Us Weekly published a story claiming there was tension in the Pitt-Jolie family due to her interest in joining the British House of Lords. This would require her to be a British tax-paying citizen and, because of this, she wanted to sell the Chateau Miraval, the estate and winery the couple owns in Correns, France. According to their source, Pitt wanted to keep the estate — which has its own moat, so we get it, Brad. 

Jolie's humanitarian efforts are well documented. Most notably, she has worked as a Special Envoy for the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees, and recently spoke for Syrian refugees

Recently, she has also been working with House of Lords member Baroness Arminika Helic, whom Jolie considers her mentor. Helic, a refugee of the Bosnia-Herzegovina war, co-authored an op-ed in The Times about the global refugee crisis with Jolie in 2015. Jolie, Helic and Chloe Dalton formed JP.D.H London, a non-profit, together in 2015.

“I’d like to be part of international work, and see where I can be useful, whatever way that takes shape," Jolie told Vogue in 2015. “I still don’t know what I’m capable of.”

Bonus: Contrary to Reports, Love Is Real

Hush little baby, don't say a word. Photoshop by @bkurbs

A photo posted by Mashable Watercooler (@watercooler) on Mar 1, 2016 at 8:21am PST