Remember the Alamo — but forget secession. Texas can’t leave the U.S., and won’t

The Texas secession scam is back, so hang onto your vote and your wallet.

In the first place, Texas can’t secede. We tried that.

Second, if Texas ever somehow seceded, the bubbas going bug-eyed wild over it are definitely not the folks we’d put in charge.

Tea Party-style groups in Parker and Wise counties have openly hosted secessionists in recent weeks, taking advantage of a divided Republican Party to peddle rebellion along with $500 “lifetime memberships.”

Whether you buy that package or just a $25 “Texit” T-shirt, I can guarantee that Texas is not going to be independent within your lifetime.

Mainly, it’s against the law.

The Articles of Confederation describe a “perpetual” union. The Constitution made it “more perfect.”

(Folks get mixed up. The joint resolution combining the U.S. with Texas says we can divide into up to five states, but not leave.)

Even some of the most ornery secessionists concede that Texas’ only hope is to pester the rest of the country until they cut us loose.

Some of our elected officials seem to be working on that.

Plus, our own constitution can’t be changed without a two-thirds vote in Austin from both the Texas House and Senate.

And two-thirds of our lawmakers don’t want to leave.

So all the flag-waving rallies, chest-pounding and bravado can just fizzle to a stop.

None of this has stopped secessionist state Rep. Kyle Biedermann (R-Fredericksburg), owner of an Ace Hardware store and author of a bill calling for a statewide referendum on “whether this state should leave the United States of America.”

House Bill 1359 hasn’t gone anywhere, and probably won’t. The Legislature is kind of busy.

State officials are reluctant to talk about secession, mainly because half want to run for president.

But the voice of the Fredericksburg Ace Hardware is more than willing to speak out.

The federal government is “unfaithful,” and “it’s time to kick ‘em out,” Biedermann said to cheers at a March 5 Weatherford meeting of the Parker County Conservatives, a group funded in large part by campaign moneybags Farris and JoAnn Wilks of Cisco.

Biedermann likes the Founders. They’re “godly men [who] wrote the Constitution inspired by the Holy Spirit.”

But not so much the Pledge of Allegiance.

“I don’t like calling it ‘one nation, indivisible,’ “ he said.

The statewide vote would force the Legislature to “review whether it’s even feasible” to secede, he said.

There do see to be some minor details to work out.

Like constitutional rights, citizenship, military defense, lost business headquarters and jobs, pensions, benefits, U.S. property, a postal service, airline operations and — don’t forget — paying off our share of the federal debt.

Perhaps that’s what Biedermann was working on Jan. 6 when he went to Washington, D.C.

He was seen grinning on video near the U.S. Capitol steps when the rebellion against Congress broke out that day, and has refused to allow the public to view that day’s emails.

On WBAP/820 AM, he blamed the riot on a “few radicals.”

(Not to be confused with your garden variety secessionists.)

At the Weatherford event, Biedermann said he wants Texas to secede from the U.S. because “we love America.”

Yes. That’s really what he said.

“We love America, and you [Americans?] are trashing our America,” Biedermann said.

“That’s why we’re doing this. We’re trying to save our America.”

He said he filed the bill to see who’s for leaving the U.S. and who’s against it.

I trust he will see.