‘Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’: The Great Kyle vs. Sutton Showdown Is Finally Here

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is a franchise full of confessional warriors. It’s all about dropping a quick diss behind one’s back, and implying but never outright saying something insidious.

That’s why RHOBH reunions tend to be mild affairs. Over in Orange County and Atlanta, explosive reunions are often borne out of even the most milquetoast seasons. Yet, Beverly Hills’ iconic seasons are often followed by a restrained reunion. While Part 1 of the Season 13 reunion made a case for the entire cast’s return (Annemarie withstanding), Part 2 proved that this passive cast desperately needs a provocateur. So many interesting opportunities dangle before this group, but if no one’s willing to take the bait, it’s all moot.

That’s why I hereby offer Crystal Kung Minkoff up as a sacrifice to the Bravo gods. She’s simply whiffed too many balls for me to give her another chance, and tonight was the final straw. When Andy brings up Tom Girardi’s legal matters, Crystal points out that it’s odd he’s taking the stand given his dementia diagnosis. Erika then dares her to spit it out: She thinks Tom is lying. But Crystal backs off, only to then whisper to Garcelle that, yes, she does think Tom (and Erika) are lying. Sorry Crystal, but you just can’t keep implying salacious things only to get scared when confronted. Off you go.

It’s so unbelievably frustrating, made worse by the fact Erika’s entire discussion of the victims is an invite for her cast members to heckle her. On most casts, it’s an easy slam dunk, but here, it’s Beyoncé’s mute challenge.

But let’s go back to the beginning. The episode opens where we last left off, with Kyle accusing Dorit of pandering to the audience by sticking up for Kathy at last year’s reunion. And Garcelle grabs the baton from Kyle, badgering Dorit for her refusal to apologize. It’s an interesting moment, as Garcelle also supported Kathy last year, so it’s seemingly the one thing she and Dorit should agree on. But it’s not really about an apology, it’s about isolation. Now that Dorit’s friendship with Kyle is on the rocks, Garcelle sees an opportunity to eliminate her least-favorite cast member, which becomes evidently clear later on. But first, things heat up between Kyle and Sutton.

Sutton feels that Kyle was reckless to insinuate she has a drinking problem and an eating disorder, but Kyle’s not sorry in the slightest. Here’s that Beverly Hills fake mentality in action, implying things without ever explicitly stating them. It’s the method Lisa Vanderpump perfected, so much so that many of her fans still believe she’s an innocent fawn and not an active arsonist.

And Kyle learned well from her former frenemy. She never outright said that Sutton’s an alcoholic. Poor Kyle just keeps getting stuck in horribly sticky situations where people disparage Sutton and she’s forced to laugh along, offering theories that, perhaps, Ms. Stracke drinks too much. But did she use the word alcoholic? No. Nor did she say Sutton has an eating disorder. All she said was that Sutton doesn’t eat.

Here’s the thing about semantics: Reality TV isn’t a court of law, and tossing out implications that lead your cast and audience in certain directions is just the same as outright saying something. A lawyer would be hard-pressed to prove Kyle called Sutton an alcoholic, but if you just read between the lines, it’s pretty evident. Sutton clocks this, comparing Kyle’s machinations to a game of chess. It’s very reminiscent of Kyle’s own comments to LVP in the Season 2 reunion, when she compared her friendship with the former Queen of Diamonds to a chess game with Bobby Fischer. We’ve come full circle.

Interestingly, Garcelle finds herself in the Kyle position soon after, over comments she made questioning the veracity of Dorit’s robbery. Garcelle never outright said the robbery was fake, and she’s hung up on that technicality. Still, Dorit’s livid that Garcelle would “go on national television and peddle a false narrative,” though Garcelle claims that’s just sharing her opinion.

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“It doesn’t change your world in any way,” she says, to which Dorit replies, “Of course it does.”

Garcelle is well-aware that by questioning the robbery on TV, she’s giving credence to the people who doubt Dorit’s story. Just the same, Kyle knows that checking Sutton’s foodless fridge on camera will validate the idea that Sutton has an eating disorder. It’s kind of surprising to see Garcelle so stoic in the face of this emotion, and her apology is very insincere.

But it’s not too surprising that Kyle and Garcelle would parallel each other. The two are essentially the faces of Beverly Hills’ dueling teams, both producerial Housewives who know how to get the ball rolling. Whether they’re covert villains or reality TV geniuses—or neither—depends on your purview, but they very clearly approach the show from the same direction. What this parallel proposes is something interesting, too, which is a Kyle and Garcelle team-up against Dorit, which leaves Dorit no choice but to befriend Sutton. That could make for an interesting Season 14.

And Kyle takes things a step further. Not only is she not sorry for what she said about Sutton, she thinks Sutton should thank her. Without Kyle, what storyline did Sutton have? A dating coach and a horse, Kyle scoffs. I totally support a rampage against RHOBH solo footage, but Kyle, can we start with Garcelle or Crystal first? At least Sutton took one for the team by dating on camera and openly flirting with a horse. Women’s stories matter. Let’s not disparage them.

The game of Beverly Hills telephone continues with Dorit questioning where Sutton heard that PK had been cheating on her when he got his DUI. But, rather than get in the mud, Sutton simply says the streets told her. Even when Andy brings up how Sutton made fun of Erika’s Bet it on Blonde ticket prices, Sutton says it was actually in defense of Erika. Um, no, it was a mean dig at a failing residency. And it was funny!

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No one wants to be openly mean on RHOBH; it’s such a bummer. Meanwhile, Miami’s Adriana de Moura would tell you the exact coordinates of the alleged street, along with 53 other vicious accusations. Potomac’s Gizelle Bryant would host a party on that street and invite Tom Girardi’s victims. Get in the game, Sutton. You made fun of Erika, and you don’t need to pretend otherwise.

Dorit’s also frustrated that she shared her marital struggles with Kyle, but Kyle was mute on her own issues. And this just comes down to the simple fact that Kyle is Dorit’s best friend, but Dorit isn’t Kyle’s. Now that they’re on the outs—only made worse post-season by Dorit exposing the text Kyle sent her in Part 1—Kyle certainly won’t be confiding in Dorit anytime soon. Could we see dueling divorces in Season 14? God willing. I know Dorit claims her marriage is great now that PK’s stopped drinking, but I’m skeptical.

As the episode winds down, Andy hones in on Sutton’s Magic Mike meltdown, which she now claims was really about her external stress. She had just learned her ex-husband was uprooting his life to London, expecting Sutton to follow. It surely does make sense that the meltdown was about more than just sensual dancing, but… I do think Sutton’s using a convenient excuse to avoid her embarrassment here. Yet Sutton manages to take that meltdown and repurpose it as an Eat, Pray, Love moment of a woman finding herself. It’s very reminiscent of New York’s Kelly Bensimon describing her Scary Island behavior as a breakthrough, not a breakdown. Delusion is the force that bonds all Housewives.

Not only is Sutton empowered to stand up to her ex-husband, but she’s ready to fight back against Kyle, too. What’s interesting is, both Sutton and Kyle stand by the fact their friendship has always been strong off camera. But this season, a slow-simmering feud led to an all-out war, as the two let paranoia and a lack of trust sabotage a friendship.

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It’s as though Kyle expects Sutton to say something bad, so she enters all their discussions on the offense, ready to sling it right back. And Sutton, feeling maligned, does what she does best by throwing darts in her confessionals. That’s how a small flame has burnt down the entire foundation of their relationship.

Kyle’s still pissed that Sutton dug into her marriage and seemed more annoyed by her struggles than sympathetic. And Sutton’s pissed that Kyle, time and time again, has failed to come to her defense and act as a real friend. But neither woman has the humility to say sorry, as their red-hot rage has only intensified, leading to an explosion after an hour of passivity.

“Kyle, you have been relentlessly mean to me!” Sutton shouts, but Kyle wants examples. And Sutton shuts her down well with a simple callback. “As Denise [Richards] would say, watch the show.”

It’s honestly a relief to see Kyle and Sutton finally yell in each other’s faces, as they might actually find resolution if they can just be honest. Right now, these two hate each other, and that’s okay. For once, they’re both saying what they actually feel, and the rage comes from genuine feelings. Indifference is the death of the Real Housewives. It’s why no one’s able to truly feud with Crystal—they just don’t care about her. It’ll be interesting to see whether their roller coaster relationship hits a breaking point in part three, or if they can put their problems aside.

The table is set for a down and dirty war in Beverly Hills as Kyle decides who it’s more pertinent to annihilate first: Dorit or Sutton. Next week, we should get more clarity on where this cold war is headed, but I foresee a Kyle and Sutton reconciliation just in time to decimate Dorit. We’ll also finally learn if Sutton actually fainted at the end of the reunion, while also welcoming Kathy Hilton back into the fold, perhaps hinting at an official return for Season 14. Stay tuned.

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