Queen Elizabeth Is Hiring a Buckingham Palace Kitchen Porter

Your dream of living out behind-closed-door Crown fantasies is only one step away from becoming a reality. Just know your crumpets from your scones.

Queen Elizabeth is currently on the hunt for a new Buckingham Palace–based kitchen porter to join the remaining team of chefs and staff. In a rare posting on the official royal website, the full-time job is described as an all-around assistant in the kitchen to help with every aspect of meal preparation—from the washing to the serving to the clean-up. (Hm, maybe this is more Downton Abbey than The Crown when we think about it. Justice for Mrs. Patmore!) It doesn't pay particularly well when you crunch the numbers, but all of your meals are guaranteed, and you'd also travel with the Queen for all overnight royal engagements. Also, you can live on the Buckingham Palace grounds if you want, but a pay adjustment would be taken into affect if so.

"You'll join a committed kitchen team who work together to prepare and serve food to the very highest standards. By maintaining the kitchen and clear-up areas you'll ensure our chefs and assistants have all they need to deliver meals throughout the day," the posting reads. "You'll also on occasion assist with food preparation. And whether you're based in Buckingham Palace or traveling to other locations, you'll ensure all kitchens are presented to the same exceptional standard."

While the posting stresses that previous experience in a kitchen setting isn't required, general knowledge of food safety and a friendly disposition are musts. "Most important is that you're a natural team player, happy to get involved, use initiative and work with your colleagues to achieve a smooth daily service," it concludes. "You clearly take care and pride in your work, and so aim to deliver great results in all that you do." Well, what are you waiting for? Re-watch Ratatouille and apply.