Prince Harry's Music Festival Madness

Richard Lawson
The Atlantic Wire
Prince Harry's Music Festival Madness

Today in celebrity gossip: Harry went to Glastonbury and had a fun time, Farrah Abraham is in more trouble, and Calvin Klein's boyfriend returns to New York

RELATED: Prince Harry Comes to America; ABC Spoils the Knox Sisters

The UK's Glastonbury music festival wrapped up last night, and while most attendees were just a bunch of sweaty jerks who all sort of blended into one big anonymous mass of Anglos, there were a few people there who were special. Most special of all was Prince Harry, third in line for the British throne, the Ginger Minger, wielder of the sacred scepter. He was at the festival this weekend, and he certainly seemed to enjoy himself. He was seen partying with Kate Moss and his supposed girlfriend Cressida Bonas until 4 in the morning at one of the festival's "nightclubs." I'm assuming that means it was just a tent, but who knows. Maybe they actually built a nightclub. Whatever structure it was housed in, the club played "hardcore trance style dance music," to which Harry danced for hours and hours. Nothing untoward happened, he mostly kept to himself, but he was there, enjoying a drink or several, probably sneaking a snog with Cressida or some other chippy when he could. Y'know, having a laugh, that sort of a thing. All of this while "hardcore trance style" music played. Doesn't that sound like a mind-altering evening? "Oh, there's the Prince of England, dancing to hardcore trance style dance music. Huh." What a strange country. [Daily Mail]

RELATED: American Troops Are Sick of Getting Killed By Their Afghan Allies

Oh dear. Farrah Abraham, she's the teen mom from Teen Mom who has now made a sexual tape with a sex movie actor, is going to rehab. She's checking into a place in Florida to seek help for alcohol abuse, a problem she has been struggling with, it would seem, since she was arrested for drunk driving back in March. "I'm 22 and I want to make better choices and ensure I can recognize when I am putting myself in a bad situation next time," Abraham said in a statement. So. Okay. Good. If she needs help, it's good that she's getting it. An important and difficult step to take. Well done. I know we all want to entertain the possibility that this is just another sad grab for attention, like everything else this young woman has done in the past four or so years, but I don't think we can. We owe it to the process to assume it's legit, because we wouldn't want to stigmatize it for anyone. Right? Right. I think. [Us Weekly]

RELATED: Celebrities Still Suffer from Sandy

Speaking of young, successful dynamos, Calvin Klein's boytoy du jour Nick Gruber — he's the porn actor who Klein paid a lot of money to clean up — is moving back to New York and restarting his modeling career. Yup! Now that he and Klein are back together, doing fun stuff like taking a Mexican beach vacation in May, Gruber's headed back to the Big Apple and is hoping to book some modeling gigs for Fashion Week in September. That ought to go well. Sure thing, Grubes. I mean, his boyfriend could maybe pull a few strings, but come on, he's no Andrej Pejic. I mean, no one is Andrej Pejic. I'm not even sure if Andrej Pejic is Andrej Pejic. But whatever, the point is that if Nick Gruber gets any work doing high fashion modeling during New York Fashion Week, it will be of importance to note that he is dating Calvin Klein. That's all. [Page Six]

RELATED: Courtney Love Says Dave Grohl Has Busy Hands; Huntsman's Debts

Jessica Simpson has given birth to her six-hundredth child! Oh, nope, sorry, wait, it's her second. But doesn't it feel like Jessica Simpson has been steadily pregnant for like four years now? When was Jessica Simpson not pregnant between 2009 and now, is what I'm asking. Regardless, the new baby is named Ace Knute Johnson, because Ace Johnson is a hilarious name. Ace Johnson: Private eye. Ace Johnson: Starting QB for the Capital City Cougars. It's a good, strong, American name. In fact, is there any more American name than Ace Johnson? Maybe Cheddar Smith or Banjo Miller. But those decidedly American names aren't as strong or proud as Ace Johnson. That is quite a handle. Hope you can live up to it, kid. [TMZ]

RELATED: Prince Harry Is Coming Back to America

Damien Fahey from TRL got married. It wasn't to some screaming girl standing in Times Square holding a Blink 182 poster either. It was to an actual adult woman whom he's known for like ten years. So it's legit. And Dave Holmes was the officiant. That is a pretty MTV wedding right there, don't you think. How much you wanna bet that Kurt Loder walked the bride down the aisle and that Idalis was one of the cater waiters. Meanwhile Jesse Camp was in the parking lot, ostensibly to park cars, but really just trying to scam old ladies for some coin. Gotta take money to make money my friend! Anyway, congrats to the happy couple. May their marriage never be shortened for airtime or interrupted by teenagers shrieking. [Us Weekly]