The political parent trap

Editor Susan J. Demas juggling her baby while trying to ask 2004 presidential candidate Howard Dean a question in Iowa | Photo from Susan J. Demas

Being a working mom requires a lot of juggling. For mothers in the Michigan Legislature, that usually means balancing long commutes, unexpected late-night sessions and weekend meetings with constituents alongside nursing, helping kids with homework, getting them to T-ball practice and much more.

And so even with more women running for office than ever before, there’s still a big “mom gap” in the Legislature. To put a fine point on it, the Michigan Advance reported this week that in the last 100 years since the first woman was elected to the Legislature, only 27 women legislators have ever been mothers of school-aged children while serving. That’s the same number of male lawmakers who are fathers of school-aged children right now.

Unfortunately, this isn’t a surprise when moms remain the majority of primary caregivers — something underscored during the pandemic when thousands of parents suddenly were working at home. And yet it was moms in most households who ended up caring for the kids while scrambling to get their work done and make it through Zoom calls without their toddler shrieking or waddling into frame.

When I first started covering the Michigan Capitol two decades ago, it was a decidedly male-dominated club, with the median age probably somewhere in the 40s (if I’m being generous). After the Great Recession hit and layoffs decimated the press corps, you could count the number of female members on one hand (and I was the only mom for awhile).

Things have changed a lot these days, with women, mostly in their 20s, dominating our ranks. But there’s still a big mom gap in the media. And I completely understand why.

Being a reporter isn’t a 9 to 5 job and covering politics can be … a lot. There are plenty of people without kids who leave journalism because they say it’s too hard to achieve a good work-life balance. When you have tiny humans who need you to survive, that frankly becomes impossible at times.

My journalism career almost ended up being over before it started, after I became pregnant with my first child shortly after getting my first real job at an Iowa newspaper. As I was running around covering state budget cuts and school events, while my husband and I excitedly painted the nursery and stocked up on newborn clothes, I didn’t realize that some editors had decided I must not be that dedicated to my career. (So much for having it all).

For the next couple of years, I tried to impress them, volunteering for any assignment. But occasionally, I had to take my daughter with when my childcare fell through, like when I was covering former Vermont Gov. Howard Dean campaigning during the 2004 Iowa caucuses. (While he seemed charmed by my baby, he still didn’t really answer my question on his health care plan).

At the next couple newspapers I worked for, I learned my lesson and didn’t even put photos of my kid on my desk. I can’t definitely say it helped me land better jobs …. but I don’t think it hurt.

By the time I started covering the Michigan Capitol full-time, I was a single mom with no family in the state. I was writing three or four stories a day, plus taking on freelance work so I could plop something into my daughter’s college fund, so my day never ended when she was done with her after-school program. That meant a lot of late nights and weekends working at home, which my boss didn’t like and my single coworkers resented (even though, if anything, I worked even harder just to prove myself).

And then there was plenty of mom guilt, as I had to rush to my kid’s winter concert because the Legislature went late or realized I forgot the plates for her school birthday party and tried not to break down in the car.

Meanwhile, the only female politician I covered who was navigating single parenthood was then-Sen. Gretchen Whitmer, whose kids are the same age as mine. We would occasionally have candid conversations about the struggle after session or committee hearings.

Editor Susan J. Demas would sometimes have to bring her kids as she covered events, like President Barack Obama at the University of Michigan | Susan J. Demas

But motherhood is still viewed by too many as a political weakness. One of my former colleagues dismissed Whitmer as a lightweight and told me he knew she’d “never go anywhere in politics when she got pregnant after getting elected” (which sounded very familiar). I haven’t checked back with him since she became the 49th governor of Michigan and landed on everyone’s list of 2028 presidential hopefuls.

And who could forget when Ingham County Clerk Barb Byrum was grilled a decade ago about possibly running for statewide office when she had a 3- and a 5-year-old. “But don’t the children want Mom at home?” was an actual question she was asked. (You’ll be terribly surprised to hear the reporter was male).

The satirical site Wonkette summed up the episode with one of the world’s greatest headlines: “Michigan Lady Might Run For Office Even Though She Has Children, What Is Even Up With That?”

I’d like to think things have changed enough that women today don’t have to endure such blatant sexism, but I think we all know that’s not true. I will say that women are more open now about what to expect when you’re expecting while running for office or chasing after a toddler.

Being open about the challenges of motherhood helps other women in politics feel less alone. And working toward solutions, like more affordable childcare and better postpartum health care, can help parents all across the state.

So many powerful women in Michigan and states across the country were willing to share their stories with us at States Newsroom for our Mother’s Day series, “The Mother Load.”

There are plenty of people without kids who leave journalism because they say it's too hard to achieve a good work-life balance. When you have tiny humans who need you to survive, that frankly becomes impossible at times.

– Susan J. Demas

“My kids come before work even. That may not be great for everyone to hear,” state Rep. Rachelle Smit (R-Martin) told the Advance. “If my own priorities in my own personal life and as a wife and a mom are not in line, I don’t feel like I can be the best at my job, either.”

I respect the hell out of that.

When I bought Inside Michigan Politics back in 2013, I was finally able to primarily work from home and could be there for my kids the way I wanted to be. I was there to get my daughter and new stepson off to school and pick them up afterward. I never had to miss a soccer or football game. By the time I was recruited to start the Michigan Advance over five years ago, my kids were both in high school, but they still (somehow) wanted me around, so having flexibility meant everything.

Of course, not everyone is this lucky, which is one reason why moms of young kids continue to be a minority in both the Michigan Legislature and Capitol press corps.

I know we can do better.

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