The Petraeus Scandal Takes a Turn for the Shirtless

Adam Clark Estes
The Petraeus Scandal Takes a Turn for the Shirtless

The rapidly unfolding saga of David Petraeus, Paula Broadwell, Jill Kelley and an unnamed FBI agent is getting trashier by the minute. The Wall Street Journal dropped a scoop on Monday evening with fresh details about the case, including a report of a man who sent shirtless photos of himself to Kelley, the accidental whistleblower. Believe it or not, the man sending sexy pics is not David Petraeus -- you know, the guy that just got caught having an illicit affair with his too-fit biographer. It's the FBI agent. 

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But wait there's more. Evidently, the FBI agent who opened an investigation into some harassing emails that Kelley, a friend of his from Florida, got a little too involved in the case. According to The Journal, the agent's "supervisors soon became concerned that the initial agent might have grown obsessed with the matter, and prohibited him from any role in the investigation." 

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Meanwhile, the investigators who worked their way through a maze of anonymous email exchanges between Petraeus, Broadwell and Kelley ascertained that the former CIA director and his friend from Florida may have gotten romantically involved as well. One email described a night at dinner when the anonymous writer claimed to witness Kelley touching Petraeus "provocatively" under the table. "Provocatively" is WSJ's word. We're guessing the email was a little bit more specific with what was going on with the under-the-table touching.

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This is getting good. All we need now is a copy of the shirtless photo and the disk that contains all of the other explicit photos -- sexy pics are like rats where there are a thousand hiding for every one out in the open. Or even better, if there were a sex tape, some misplaced direct messages on Twitter, evidence of all-night sex parties and perhaps a offshore bank account full of cash, this thing could become the ultimate political scandal*. We might even have to recast the inevitable Petraeus scandal movie. We're thinking Daniel Craig could play a rogue shirtless FBI agent pretty darn well.

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* - Aside from the shirtless photo, there is no evidence that any of these items exists. Sort of sadly, similar items have turned up in other recent political scandals, though. Recent scandals, too.