Peter Jackson Must Have One Ring to Rule the Box Office

Connor Simpson
Peter Jackson Must Have One Ring to Rule the Box Office

Welcome to the Box Office Report where we're acknowledging that we have failed to stop Peter Jackson from taking over the world. 

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1. The Hobbit (Warner): $32.9 million in 4,100 theaters [Week 3]

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Our quest to protect the world from noted super villain and world destroyer Peter Jackson has failed. We've tried and tried to inform you about his evil plot to take over our world by hypnotizing everyone with cute dolphin videos and taking control of our minds, but you keep seeing this movie and supporting him. Why do you do it, American people? Do you like cute dolphin videos that much? When he controls the world, The Box Office Report will be the guy in chains saying, "I voted for Kodos," or whatever The Hobbit's equivalent will be. 

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2. Django Unchained (Weinstein Company): $30.7 million in 3,010 theaters

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One of the best parts of Django Unchained, people tell me, is the soundtrack. The are actual, real-life odds that Rick Ross will be nominated for an Oscar for '100 Black Coffins,' the song he did with Jamie Foxx for the movie. (Weirdest sentence ever? Weirdest sentence ever.) the music that didn't even make the movie is great, too. Frank Ocean released a song he recorded for the movie that they decided not to use, and it's amazing. Also, something something controversy about race.

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4. Les Miserables (Universal): $28 million in 2,808 theaters

As my colleague Esther Zuckerman noted, Les Miz dominated the Christmas day box office because people would rather cry their faces off than talk to family, apparently. 

5. Parental Guidance (Fox): $ 14.8 million in 3,367 theaters

Billy Crystal is 100 years old and a past-his-prime Oscar host, but don't say he can't still bring it at the box office. That this movie showed up in the top five at all was a surprise. 

5. Jack Reacher (Paramount): $14 million in 3,352 theaters [Week 2]

The only question remaining about this Tom Cruise movie is what they're going to name the inevitable porn parody without getting sued.