Perspective: There are still too many who believe the lie that we would be better without them
It has been a decade since that March evening when my brother found my 40-year-old sister Meg dead by suicide. Everything changed that day. I know many families share this unique, intense grief. My life is not better without Meg. As her big sister, I tried to support and love Meg. Over her lifetime, she wrestled with mental health vulnerabilities, sought therapy and had multiple seasons of joy. But the reality of suicide is about exhaustion of the soul and pain management. Meg got tired.
I don’t want to oversimplify the complexities of mental health and thoughts of suicide. The stewardship of Meg’s passing has compelled me to find purpose in my pain. Through writing, speaking and media, having conversations about mental health and grief have helped me not only process my own loss but also connect with a larger global community of helpers and survivors. One suicide is too many. There are still too many of our brothers and sisters still believing a lie that we would be better without them. Too many are still feeling hopeless and overwhelmed by pain. A decade after losing Meg, suicides haven’t been eliminated but there is some good news worth celebrating.
There are so many more voices in the mental health space. Helpers are getting help and talking about help. Many families and organizations have dedicated capital and resources to stopping the stigma — groups like the Cook Center of Human Connection and Huntsman Mental Health Institute, just to name a few.
Free resources have expanded. Parentguidance.org, mindful and feeling apps can help. The three-digit hotline 988 is always there 24/7 for connection and support.
Utah is leading the way in this mental health war. A new IHC Primary Children’s Hospital in Lehi hosts a behavioral unit, which includes both in-patient and outpatient support for families and patients.
A great intersection is happening within faith communities and mental health conversations. This helps to eliminate previous teachings on fears of damnation if you die by suicide and encourages people of faith to seek out therapy and support.
Men talking about mental health has improved. We still have room for improvement but there is hope. From professional sports players to business groups, like Silicon Slopes, let’s celebrate any efforts to help the men in our lives put words on what support looks like.
Friends, I hope that this conversation helps you continue having your own mental health conversations. These moments have a huge impact on the world. When one person says “I need help” or “therapy was amazing,” there is a butterfly effect shift in the space of suicide prevention. We don’t have to have the perfect words to make an impact. It is sometimes found in awkward and vulnerable encounters where we can make the boldest offerings when it comes to suicide prevention and normalizing mental health conversations. We still have a lot of work to do, but there is a lot to celebrate. I have learned some of the biggest lessons over the last 10 years. I know better today than in 2014 that therapy is education. We will never be better without you. And hope is never lost!
If you or someone you know is in crisis, please contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 or chatting online at 988lifeline.org.
Ganel-Lyn Condie is an author, educator, speaker and mental health advocate.
