The official review of Lonzo Ball's lyrically masterful mixtape

Ben Rohrbach
·Senior NBA writer
Lakers rookie Lonzo Ball has been sidelined for the past month with a knee injury. (AP)
Lakers rookie Lonzo Ball has been sidelined for the past month with a knee injury. (AP)

Lonzo Ball’s mixtape is out. I didn’t want to listen to it, but they made me, so I could write this review for you. And let me just say, if you like basic beats behind repetitive lyrics about how good he is at basketball, how much money he makes and how great one-night stands are, this is the album for you.

Lonzo’s mixtape is not a complete disaster, so it surpasses all expectations, even if it is predictable. The opening track is an ode to his dad, LaVar, and most songs include references to Big Baller Brand.

Every track is roughly three minutes long, half of which is a chorus repeating lines like, “I gotta go get the check, I gotta run up the check.” Revolutionary stuff like that. The track “Gotta Get It” is a banger.

Mostly, you should listen for the lyrics, because nonstop references to Big Baller Brand never get old.

Take this, for example, from the track “Better“:

You know I’m a busy bee,
But I gotta add a B.
That shoutout’s to triple-B’s.
You know I gotta rep my team.

“You know I’m a busy bee” is just a great line for a rap verse. Can’t believe Jay-Z hadn’t already used it.

This verse, though, is the greatest, from “Day 1s“:

Triple-double what I average,
Triple-B’s move in masses,
Dropped out, skipping classes,
Love green, eating salads.

Any time you can misrepresent your own basketball statistics, boast about the success of a company that got an “F” rating from the Better Business Bureau for failing to fulfill orders, talk about dropping out of school and express a love for salad greens, all in one verse, you’re doing something right.

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Ben Rohrbach is a writer for Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at rohrbach_ben@yahoo.com or follow him on Twitter!