President Obama casually inserted a piece of Nicorette gum into the First Mouth Monday afternoon.
Obama has a well-documented history of using gum control to stave off his smoking urges, but it’s rare to catch the president getting his nicotine fix in public.
Ever-conscious of the many cameras that capture his every move, Obama waited for just the right moment — during an event honoring former President George H.W. Bush — when it seemed likely that no network in the world would be focusing on the current president.
Fortunately, the eagle-eyed producers at the Fox News Channel transitioned to a presidential split-screen at that very moment.
In a mere instant, the president exhibited the requisite slight-of-hand of a world class Nicorette consumer.
The president apparently never looked down down while his hand shed the single unit of gum from its tinfoil and plastic casing and approached his mouth as if to touch his face in thoughtful contemplation.
The square piece of sweet release with its comfortably rounded corners earned a mere split second of Fox News’s valuable screen time, peeking out from Obama’s three-fingered clutch before being pushed off to its pliable end.
But the magic didn’t stop there.
Obama’s middle finger ran the length of his lower lip as he wiped away at some fictional annoyance, exuding the confidence of a man satisfied that he had evaded notice.
With the gum now firmly planted between the First Molars, Obama demonstrated all the slow-paced gun chewing prowess of a wannabe class clown.
Just as WikiHow suggests to would-be middle school gum chewers, “Chew slowly, and discreetly, and make sure your mouth is shut. Don’t make unnecessary chewing noises and make sure your jaw movement is at a slow, steady pace.”
Obama has clearly perfected the technique, matching the clenching of his jaw with the rhythm of the speaker, feigning a sense of presidential concern.
No effort was made to reach out to the White House for comment.
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