‘It’s not us, it’s you’: Watch Miami Beach’s impassioned plea to Spring Breakers

Madeleine Marr
·2 min read
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Over it.

The City of Miami Beach is just not that into Spring Break anymore.

In a new social media campaign aimed at taming wild, law-breaking partiers, a few concerned citizens appear in a public service announcement to give it to them straight.

“Hey,” waves a brunette in a bandanna. “We need to talk.”

“This isn’t working anymore,” says a hunky guy sitting on a bench on Ocean Drive.

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“And it’s not us, it’s you,” adds a different woman, riffing off of George Costanza’s infamous line. “We just want different things.”

Another 20-something then holds up her phone with a video of utter chaos.

“Do you even remember what happened last March?!”

READ MORE: Political friction surrounds Spring Break

Then, a montage of multiple news headlines about arrests, out of control behavior and crackdowns — basically all the things officials don’t want a repeat of this year.

“The measures I proposed approved by our Commission will ensure that our residents, businesses, and visitors are safe and thrive during Spring Break,” said Miami Beach Mayor Steven Meiner in a press release about the “Miami Beach is Breaking Up with Spring Break” spot. “Everyone is invited to enjoy the beauty and hospitality of our City. But we are a law and order City and we will enforce our laws all year round, including during March’s Spring Break.”

READ MORE: See how different Spring Break is this year

What this means for potential merrymakers: major buzzkills such as bag checks, pricey parking, doubled towing fees for non-residents, DUI checkpoints and cops everywhere.

Turned off? Perhaps you’ll skip the, um, festivities this year? The PSA offers a few suggestions on how to alternately spend your time down south, like grabbing a spa treatment or a nice meal.

Commenters under the post were mixed.

“Oh my God! Yessss!” wrote a traumatized local. “I couldn’t leave my apartment for a week last year!”

Others were concerned the mayhem would migrate to other areas like Wynwood, the Design District or Midtown, or even back to (eek!) Broward.

“Fort Lauderdale shaking in its boots.”

Some even offered up some ideas of their own: “CLOSE THE PARKING GARAGES FOR GOOD! The most effective way to reduce traffic is to reduce the amount of cars.”

“This should be a paid ad targeting all colleges in southeast US.”