'No planning for things like this': Neptune mom paralyzed in car wreck needs your help

NEPTUNE - There are three steps leading to the front porch of Elizabeth Medler’s home. A few months ago, they were no problem for the 63-year-old retired special education teacher.

Now they are a big problem — but far from the only one.

Medler was paralyzed in a car accident in November. With limited mobility below the neck, she is mostly confined to a bed. Her daughter, 32-year-old Dominque Medler, took leave from her career as a tech-industry recruiter to become her mom’s full-time caretaker.

Predictably, insurance is balking at long-term coverage needs. Twice-weekly home health aide visits will stop at the end of this month. Getting a ramp installed for the front porch is not the highest priority at the moment, but it’s a symbolic hurdle for Elizabeth, who led an active lifestyle and hopes to get around in a motorized wheelchair if her therapy progresses.

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“She hasn’t been out of the house and that’s something that weighs on me,” Dominque said. “I don’t want that to affect my mom’s mental health. Everybody needs to get outside. I want to make sure we can get her quality of life back up.”

That’s going to require some helping hands.

'A sudden burden'

Elizabeth Medler was driving on the Garden State Parkway when her car skidded off the roadway and into a tree.

“I don’t really remember what happened,” she said.

After extensive surgery at Jersey Shore University Medical Center in Neptune, she spent two months at Hackensack Meridian JFK Johnson Rehabilitation Institute in Edison. Her injury is what’s known as central cord syndrome.

“It’s a severe injury to the spinal cord itself, not the bones, as a result of having really bad arthritis in her neck and then having severe trauma in her neck,” explained her spinal surgeon, Dr. Wylie Lopez. “These injuries are catastrophic and life-altering.”

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Over the course of a year, Lopez said, “she could improve a little bit. If she gets some control back in her hands, it can help her operate a motorized chair a bit better.”

Her physical and occupational therapy, plus the first few months of visits by home health aides, were largely covered by her car insurance company. That coverage ends later this month as responsibility shifts to her primary insurance carrier, Horizon. After that, Dominique said, only a weekly wellness visit from a nurse will be covered. That puts all the pressure for Elizabeth’s care on Dominique and her brother Dante, who lives nearby and works as an auto mechanic.

“Without that kind of support, these patients do really, really poorly because they need help with everything,” Wylie said. “There’s a bunch of people who this happens to who don’t have help, and those people end up dying pretty quickly. People who have help can live relatively good lives if they can get some of their function back while someone is taking good care of them. So the fact that Dominique is able to do that is really a game-changer.”

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She’s taken up waitressing on the weekends to pay the bills, but the strain is enormous. Some nights she can only catnap while her mom copes with neck pain and spikes in blood pressure. Every two hours, Elizabeth has to be repositioned. Therapists have been coaching Dominique and Dante on the essentials of positioning, helping their mom perform passive range-of-motion exercises, and how to change her catheter.

“It’s a lot — and it’s really hard,” said Rebecca Taylor, a therapist with Hackensack Meridian Health at Home who was visiting Friday. “It’s a sudden burden. There is no planning for things like this.”

A call for help

Others are pitching in, too. Elizabeth is a founding member of Triumphant Life Church in Eatontown, having taught Sunday school and served in other ministries through the years.

“Elizabeth was always there, always smiling, always willing to help in whatever way she could,” said Traci Akins, the church’s first lady and a friend of the Medlers.

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Church members have been coming to Elizabeth’s home to stay with her when Dominique is working or has to step out.

“We’re trying to keep Dominique’s spirits up,” Akins said. “She just wants the best care she can get for her mom.”

To that end, Dominique has launched an online fundraiser with a goal of $25,000 to help fill the gaps when the insurance coverage downshifts. She’s appealing to Habitat For Humanity for help with the porch ramp (which can cost upwards of $5,000) and is seeking a caregiver’s support group to help better brace herself for the challenges ahead.

“I’ve put everything old hold for myself right now,” Dominique said, without a trace of resentment. “She’s a good mom. She was a single mom, and she raised me and my brother right.”

Elizabeth is grateful for her daughter’s love, but also concerned.

“I know this is hard for a young woman because she can’t do what she’s used to doing — working, going out,” she said, adding with a smile, “I told her, ‘You ought to become a nurse, because you’re really quite good at it.’”

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The sun shone brightly though the windows in Elizabeth’s bedroom Friday, a reminder that spring is coming — and with it the outdoor activities she holds so dear.

“I can’t go anywhere right now,” she said.

With some help and a bit of good fortune, the Medlers are hoping that changes soon.

Contributions to the fundraiser for Elizabeth Medler’s recovery can be made at fundly.com/elizabeth-medler-s-spinal-cord-injury-fund.

Jerry Carino is community columnist for the Asbury Park Press, focusing on the Jersey Shore’s interesting people, inspiring stories and pressing issues. Contact him at jcarino@gannettnj.com.

This article originally appeared on Asbury Park Press: Neptune family needs help raising money for paralyzed mom's new life