'Do No Harm' Is a Complete Disaster

Today in show business news: A new NBC show has a record-breakingly bad debut, more NCIS is on the way, and a more swear-heavy look at Spring Breakers.

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NBC's weird/bad medical drama/psycho-thriller Do No Harm, the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde riff about the talented surgeon whose nighttime personality is a sociopathic partyboy, premiered last night and boy did it not do well. Just how badly did things go? Take it away, Entertainment Weekly: "Do No Harm ranks as the lowest-rated in-season broadcast scripted series debut in TV history among the Big Four networks (since at least 1987 when the current ratings measurement system was adopted). It’s also the least-watched in-season broadcast drama premiere ever among the Big Four." So, uh, that's two different ways of saying that the show did pretty f-cking bad. While I doubt they thought they had some big hit on their hands, this has got to come as a blow to NBC, which is increasingly having the point driven home that without The Voice, people aren't watching many of their shows. What does this mean for Smash, we wonder, which had the big Voice lead-in last spring but won't this year? It certainly doesn't mean good things for the comedies Go On and The New Normal, which have slipped precipitously since losing their big lead-in. If a show can't perform on its own, it's likely not going to last terribly long. As for Do No Harm? We'd imagine it won't survive into next week. Pull the plug, Doc Peacock. [Entertainment Weekly]

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On the complete opposite side of the ratings spectrum, goofy mega-hit NCIS will continue for another season, and Mark Harmon has signed a new deal to stay on the show. Of course he did, what else is he doing? So this means another year of Gibbs slapping people upside the head and making up dumb rules that are just vague generalities or platitudes. Plus another year of so many people in the Navy being murdered. Good gravy are there are a lot of people in the Navy, and the Marines too I guess, who get horribly murdered in the D.C. area. I mean, it's a real epidemic! The leading cause of death among all Naval servicemen has got to be murder in or around Washington D.C. Someone must put a stop to this at some point; they can't just rely on Gibbs and company to clean up the mess after the fact. Maybe they should just shut down the Navy. I mean, it's really dangerous. Seriously, seriously dangerous. [Deadline]

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Ryan Murphy is pretty good at keeping his little acting company together. American Horror Story regular Lily Rabe has just signed on for a third season, coming off a big season two arc as a demure nun possessed by a wicked demon. Who will she play in season three? Nobody knows. But it's probably someone twisted and weird, because that's largely what Ryan Murphy likes to do. Rabe joins other regulars Evan Peters, Jessica Lange, and Sarah Paulson. No word yet on Zachary Quinto or Frances Conroy. But they'll probably be back, right? I mean, what if everyone else had fun without them? [Entertainment Weekly]

Downton Abbey star Elizabeth McGovern, the American actress who's found a marvelous second act of her career in the U.K., has landed the lead role in a movie directed by My Week with Marilyn director Simon Curtis. McGovern will play a lady from Kansas who, in the 1920s, accompanies a teenage dancer to New York City. The movie is based on the bestselling novel The Chaperone, so depending on who they get to play the young girl, people might actually go see this thing. Oh, and, Julian Fellowes, i.e. the Downton dude, is writing the script. Well done, McGovern! I'll bet The Brotherhood of Poland, New Hampshire feels pretty faraway right about now. [Deadline]

Here's an international trailer (subtitled in French) for Harmony Korine's upcoming teensploitation movie Spring Breakers. Because it's an international trailer, that means there are swears in it. And a drawing of a penis. So, beware. Don't watch this at work or around your children or if Selena Gomez is nearby. Not because she'll be so shocked — she's in the movie for pete's sake, she remembers what she did — but because she'll talk your ear off all about how "amaaazing" it was to shoot, all the while trying to sound really cool and casual. Consider yourself warned.