From left to right: Megan Ellison, John Malone, Petra Ecclestone, Michael Hirtenstein, Roman Abramovich.
In the last five days, Curbed has explored the world's most extravagant real estate whales, each with his or her own personal flair. So which type of big spender are you? Close your eyes, count your imaginary billions, and take the Whale Spirit Guide Quiz to find out! It's all below.
The Whale Spirit Guide Quiz: Which Kind of Whale Are You?
1. Look! The maid found an extra $10M when she was flipping over the couch cushions. You spend it as frivolously as you please by:
a. A yacht? A Boeing? A bomb-proof limousine? Heck, maybe you'll donate it to an impoverished region in your home country.
b. Investing it in some solid New York real estate.
c. Becoming the financial backer for an artsy-fartsy film, most likely one with gritty characters but a lot of heart.
d. Giving it to Yale.
e. Oh, who knows? Maybe lining the 5,000-square-foot entryway in white marble?
2. Man, owning a bunch of homes can sure be the pits sometimes! Here's what really gets your goat:
a. Buying nine London apartments only to find out that the government won't let you rebuild them.
b. When developers expect you to drop tens of millions on a place you're not allowed to see.
c. When people aren't eager to shell out millions to buy your home after you've moved on to other swanky abodes.
d. Figuring out what the hell a "housemaids' delve larder" is for.
e. You hire 500 workers and it still takes nine weeks to completely make over 56,500 square feet.
3. Where does your car sleep?
a. Somebody's expecting you to keep track of all your sports cars and pimped-out limousines? Not likely.
b. This is NYC: cars are yellow and certainly nothing sleeps.
c. ...in the garage?
e. Your white Ferrari goes next to your white Rolls-Royce, which sits next to your spouse's black Ferrari and black Rolls-Royce, all in the 100-plus-space carport.
4. Let's talk outdoor space: which of these totally-not-ridiculous-at-all amenities is most your style?
a. It's hard to choose between the polo fields, 100-horse stable, rifle range, or go-kart track.
b. A sprawling terrace and full-sized pool ... in the middle of Tribeca.
c. A cliffside pool with panoramic views of Los Angeles.
d. A yard the size of Rhode Island. Like, actually.
e. The fountain in the driveway. Or the pool.
5. How did you make your fortune?
a. At first with some good, old-fashioned black market wheelings and dealings, then with setting up and liquidating dozens of companies, and, finally, there was the oil business.
b. You were a telecom business bigwig, then started flipping houses like flapjacks.
c. Dad supports your passions and your passions support you, just like a lot of people. It just so happens your passions require millions, that's all. *shrugs*
d. Hard work. An Ivy League education. Chewing up media companies for supper.
e. Technically Mom loans a lot of the money—like the $80-plus million it took to buy the latest house—but really, it's all Dad.
6. Which of these historical figures is most your lifestyle idol?
a. Catherine the Great.
b. John Jacob Astor.
c. Orson Welles.
d. Teddy Roosevelt.
e. Mae West.
7. So, what's the deal with yachts, man?
a. Oh the yachts! Yes, there are five—the media calls them your navy. You are, of course, the world's biggest spender in the world of luxury yachts.
b. Not your scene.
c. They're cool, but you have no need for one.
d. Not a sound investment. You know what's sound? Timber.
e. Dad's is way fun. Don't have your own ... yet.
8. Describe your ideal art collection in five words or less:
a. Russian photography: 1900s to 1930s.
b. Less paintings, more floating fishtanks.
c. None. Giant windows, wonderful views.
d. Irish landscapes and American wilderness.
e. 'Old Masters' are not your taste.
9. Complete: "I just don't know how anyone _____________ without ____________!"
a. feels safe ... a 40-person bodyguard army, bullet-proof cars, and a missile defense system on the yacht
b. buys a home ... suing the developer
c. buys a home ... a plush screening room
d. spends more than $1M ... first considering long-term investment value
e. survives in this cold, bleak world ... a flower cutting room
10. If you could encrust/cover anything with any other thing, which would you choose:
a. The interior walls of your yacht with $100M in art.
b. Maybe a fairy tale princess mural on the wall and ceiling? Oh, and this totally doesn't answer the question, but there should be a floating aquarium.
c. There's something nice about a wall paneled in wood or stone.
d. No, thank you.
e. Sis has got some bedazzled pop art portraits in her house. Maybe I could encrust some of the husband's old portraits in crystals?
And the results:
Mostly As: Congratulations, you're a self-made Russian billionaire like Roman Abramovich. You're the type to build an empire from nothing, and spend those mega millions on grown-up toys: airplanes, private islands, sports teams, giant houses, and the world's biggest luxury yacht. But that's not all, you're wealth and schmoozing skills have also landed you in with the Russian political hoi polloi, and you've donated some $170M to impoverished Russian states.
Mostly Bs: You're into the swank city highlife, like Michael Hirtenstein. You're the type of whale that made millions as a business mogul, and then went on to make more millions by flipping real estate in New york, the city you know and love. More right this way.
Mostly Cs: You're a low-key whale like Megan Ellison. Sure, Dad's a tech billionaire prone to snatching up Hawaiian islands and Malibu mansions, but you lead your own life. Yes, your producing work—on films like True Grit, Lawless, and Zero Dark Thirty—was initially financed by family wealth, and yes, you've bought your fair share of gorgeous Los Angeles homes, but it's not like you spend millions on weird stuff like private planes or boats.
Mostly Ds: Like billionaire John Malone, giant manses may not be your million-dollar expenditure of choice—though you've got a pretty sweet castle in Ireland, regardless—but that doesn't stop you from owning the most land acreage in America. The property portfolio includes some 2,200,000 acres of land in Maine and New Mexico.
Mostly Es: You're a modern-day princess, just like Petra Ecclestone. You collect high-profile homes like L.A.'s infamous Candy Spelling manor, as well as English bulldogs, rottweilers, and Berkin bags. As one of the glamazon daughters of the exceptionally wealthy Bernie Ecclestone, you've owned many multi-million dollar spreads, despite the fact that you're only 24 years old.