Montana Highway Patrol terminated trooper who requested mental health support

(Provided by the Montana Highway Patrol via Facebook.)

RONAN — When Zach Miller talks about the hardest part of being a Montana Highway Patrol trooper, he doesn’t point to the gruesome fatalities that still give him nightmares or a baby who died even after he performed CPR.

Miller, 34, remembers the times he had to share news of a death with family.

In 2020, a motorcyclist hit a deer and cracked his skull on the pavement. When Miller relayed news of the death to the man’s grandmother, he said she told him her grandson had promised he’d always wear his helmet.

“You see the pain on their face,” Miller said.

Zach Miller of Ronan was terminated from the Montana Highway Patrol after he sought help for PTSD and depression, records show. (Courtesy of Zach Miller.)

Miller grew up in Ronan, and he was based here for the last part of his career with the state of Montana. He wanted a job in law enforcement because he wanted to help people, and he did, partly because he believes in justice for victims.

But Miller isn’t a trooper anymore.

In 2021, the Montana Highway Patrol terminated him after he asked for mental health support to address PTSD, depression and anxiety from his responses to fatal and grisly work calls, records show.

He filed a discrimination complaint in 2022 against the Montana Department of Justice and Highway Patrol, and the parties reached a settlement in early 2023 that means he receives full disability for the rest of his life.

But Miller is a broken man.

The Department of Justice and Highway Patrol did not respond to questions about protocols that may be in place for officers responding to traumatic events. They also did not address how the state handles mental health concerns of officers.

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, however, law enforcement officers have higher rates of anxiety, depression and PTSD, and access to treatment, counseling and sometimes medication can impact how troopers experience symptoms.

“So it is really concerning to hear when they can’t get the support, and that’s something that we have seen all too frequently, particularly as we look at the ultimate negative outcome, which is suicide of law enforcement officers,” said Hannah Wesolowski, chief advocacy officer for NAMI.

A U.S. Department of Justice report to Congress in 2020 said a high rate of death by suicide exists among all public safety occupations; it said at least one study, from the Clinical Psychology Review, found suicidal ideation to be more prevalent among law enforcement than the general population.

Somers Beach State Park on Flathead Lake is north of Ronan, home of former Trooper Zach Miller. (Provided by Montana FWP for the Daily Montanan)

“One of the biggest challenges to suicide prevention programs for law enforcement professionals is well discussed and largely agreed upon: culture,” said the report to Congress.

When Miller reached out to superiors for help before he lost his job, they refused him, even after promising support, he said. Then, his bosses tried to force him to resign, he said; when he wouldn’t step down, they fired him.

“They threw me away without a second thought,” Miller said. “It’s not even a human thing to do.”

***

Miller started his career in his hometown with the Ronan Police Department.

He liked the work, but the pay wasn’t much, and in 2013, Miller went to the Montana Law Enforcement Academy to join the ranks of state troopers. He took his oath of office in 2014.

At first, Miller said he was pleased to advance his career and earn more money. He liked the traffic stops and investigations, and he didn’t like the paperwork for, say, petty theft. The Highway Patrol fit the bill.

“I just really love helping people,” Miller said.

Initially, he was stationed in Sidney, and he said he had the privilege of also serving as coordinator for the Montana Hope Project in eastern Montana; the Hope Project helps children who are terminally ill or suffer from a chronic illness.

But Miller felt homesick, too.

In October 2016, he had the chance to move back to Ronan, and there, he threw himself into new responsibilities. He worked up to being a seasoned and experienced investigator in his district, he said, even as the number of grim scenes from violent crashes started ticking up for him.

***

As a trooper, Miller was selected for special training, conducted sensitive investigations, including being tapped to investigate an internal matter for a different law enforcement agency, and awarded for exceptional service in the line of duty for two emergency responses, according to records he shared with the Daily Montanan.

(Courtesy of Zach Miller.)

He taught himself how to issue more complex warrants than the ones he learned about at the law enforcement academy, ones that involve geofencing to track mobile devices and working with Google and social media companies.

He liked the digital side of investigations, he said, but mostly, he wanted the families of victims to see justice for their loved ones.

“This family of this dead person is not going to be able to say I didn’t do everything I could,” he said.

After a meticulous investigation of a rollover, Miller elicited a confession from a man who flipped his truck and killed his passenger girlfriend.

“I know how this crash happened,” Miller recalls telling the suspect. “But what I don’t know is why you lied to me about not being the driver.”

Miller is soft spoken but clear in relaying the story, and it’s easy to imagine him being quiet and direct as he asks the crucial question at a pivotal point in the investigation.

He said he thought the man was going to tell him off, but he didn’t.

The suspect confessed, Miller said: “‘Because I don’t want people to know I killed my girlfriend.’”

***

Twice commanders approved him for the Hedstrom Award, presented to troopers who go above and beyond the call of duty to try to save a life, according to memos Miller provided; the state did not dispute his nominations.

In one case, Miller responded to a medical call for a one-year-old born with a health condition that required supplemental oxygen.

The infant was not breathing, and at the home, Miller took over CPR for the father until an ambulance took the child to the hospital.

The baby died at the hospital while Miler was still there, and he supported the family until a deputy arrived.

“Trooper Miller went above and beyond the ‘normal call of duty’ in an attempt to save an infant’s life while utilizing his first responder skills,” reads a memo nominating him for the award.

(Courtesy of Zach Miller.)

One year later, Miller responded to a head-on crash, and command staff unanimously approved him for another Hedstrom Award. A memo notes he conducted CPR on an accident victim at a chaotic scene before emergency medical personnel arrived.

“(Miller’s) commendable performance is in keeping with the finest traditions of law enforcement and reflects great credit upon himself and the Montana Highway Patrol,” said the memo.

But the events that earned him commendations also started to take their toll.

In a recent interview at his home in Ronan, Miller said it took him a while to realize the effect the death of the infant had on him.

“In 2018, I started going to therapy on my own dime,” Miller said.

***

Miller provided documents from the Department of Labor and Industry’s Human Rights Bureau complaint and lawsuit he filed including a record of incidents that led to his request for mental health care.

He searched for a toddler who had been kidnapped, raped and left for dead. He responded to the death of an 18-year-old crash victim whose body was thrown from a car and into a train, and whose brains Miller found scattered across the railroad tracks.

Highway troopers respond to traumatic events on a daily basis, but the culture of law enforcement has made it difficult to talk about related mental health concerns. (Photo illustration by Getty Images.)

He was physically assaulted by a suspect while on duty, and twice he was nearly hit by an oncoming motorist, once when he had to jump out of the way of a truck (he shared videos of the near misses with the Daily Montanan).

In the summer of 2014, he responded to three fatal accidents three days in a row. One was a vehicle-versus-motorcycle fatal crash, one an ATV rollover that killed a 3-year-old, and another a rollover that killed an adult, according to his records.

He responded to a fatal rollover where one occupant was ejected and died, but a baby lived. The baby’s mom had died, and the grandma stopped at the scene.

“(I) experienced the pain in her family’s eyes when they stopped by the crash and spoke with us,” Miller wrote.

***

As a highway trooper, Miller expected to respond to crashes and emergencies, but the number of fatal head-on collisions started to mount, and one in particular in late 2016 made him afraid of being hit himself.

A pickup truck and a semi collided head-on, and he saw the pickup driver had sustained massive injuries and died after being “squeezed” out of the cab. He saw a ladder from the pickup cut the shoulder muscle of the driver of the semi.

In yet another head-on in 2017, this one between a school bus and SUV, he discovered the SUV driver’s arm under the bus. He found the driver’s body ripped open.

“Again, (this incident) increased my fear of being struck head-on through no fault of my own,” Miller said.

He responded to a standoff with armed men who had shot at a deputy’s property. The same year, he was forced to jump out of the way of a pickup going 70 mph in a 35-mph zone while responding to a non-injury crash off the road.

“There was no time to process this as I was forced to render medical aid to the gentleman that was struck,” Miller wrote in a summary of traumatic experiences. “I had to investigate the crash and did (not) receive any mandatory time off or any time off to heal and no critical incident debriefing.

“Many other cops asked to see this video, and none of them had experienced anything similar.”

***

State agencies did not respond to a question about whether they keep data on the mental health of highway troopers or whether they collect information that might help them understand cumulative effects of trauma on their workforce.

It’s like they took a patrol car that had half its life and threw it away when it needed some work.

– Zach Miller, former Montana Highway Patrol trooper

Generally, however, law enforcement officers do share many of Miller’s experiences, according to a brief from the National Officer Safety Initiatives about preventing suicide.

“On a daily basis, officers experience job-related stressors that can range from interpersonal conflicts to extremely traumatic events, such as vehicle crashes, homicide, and suicide,” said the report. “This cumulative exposure can affect officers’ mental and physical health, contributing to problems such as post-traumatic stress symptoms, substance misuse, depression, and suicidal ideation.”

It said a study of 298 police departments found suicide rates “were significantly higher in smaller departments than in large ones.”

In 2019, Miller believed he saw the last seconds of a victim’s life from a head-on crash, although he also said the body might have been twitching after death.

He started having nightmares in 2020. Sometimes, he would see just blood. Sometimes, he would be in a head-on crash. At times, he loses his own child.

“I was scared to go for help at the start,” he said.

***

In May 2021, a commander at the Montana Highway Patrol sent a series of emails to all employees related to Mental Health Awareness Month.

One stressed the power of positive thinking, and one talked about how to identify “cognitive distortions” to reclaim mental health.

(Screenshot from a National Officer Safety Initiatives brief on preventing suicide.)

The report to Congress said the cultural expectation that officers will manage their own trauma and solve their own problems contributes to the stigma around mental health. In raising the issue of mental health, however, a Highway Patrol colonel said he sought to support the team.

“If nothing else, I hope that by bringing this important topic to light, we helped reduce some of the stigma surrounding mental health,” wrote Col. Steve Lavin in an email copied to the deputy attorney general. “Take care of yourselves, and don’t hesitate to reach out and utilize the resources available to you if you need them.”

With encouragement from the brass, Miller decided it was time to reveal his anxiety to his supervisor.

In July 2021, he told his boss he was having nightmares, and a phone call and meetings with superiors took place in quick succession.

In the phone call, the acting captain delivered a stern message, which Miller attributes in part to the captain’s own stress from a different personnel issue: “The world is tough. You need to toughen up or go.”

***

A week or so later, Miller said he was called into a meeting with multiple superiors. They took his badge, gun, car and computer, but he said they also promised to help.

“Whether you end up being in this job or not, we’re going to get you the help you need.”

Roughly one week later, Miller said he reached one of his lowest points. He was called into a meeting with five people from the Highway Patrol, and he confessed he had been having nightmares and suffering from depression. At the meeting, he cried involuntarily.

According to Miller and his records of the meeting, one of his superiors said to him: “I really thought that given the symptoms, you’d have been through a lot more.” A form filled out by the HR specialist said “there is no record of Trooper Miller experiencing any atypical or extraordinary situations during his career.”

At the meeting, human resources specialist Melissa Gardner recommended he resign, he said. Gardner is now chief human resources officer for the Montana Department of Justice. Miller said she also told him he would need to undertake a “fit for duty” evaluation, and he might be fired regardless.

Miller asked to be accommodated. As one idea, he suggested he not work nights, but an email from HR said troopers are on rotation and required to work nights, and he wasn’t medically cleared to work when he made the request anyway.

“We could not attempt an accommodation for a trooper who could not work,” said the Highway Patrol in a rebuttal to Miller’s complaint; Miller provided the record to the Daily Montanan.

Miller said Gardner also told him she’d had some experience with PTSD, treatment “takes a long time, and it’s not that effective.” In the rebuttal, the Highway Patrol denied Gardner said treatment was a waste of time.

“I left wanting to kill myself,” Miller said. “If I didn’t have a pregnant wife, I know I would have.”

***

On Nov. 26, 2021, the Highway Patrol took Miller’s job away.

“The termination of employment is based on your medical provider’s assessment of your mental health, your own admissions and the expiration of your family medical leave time,” said his notice of termination.

The state’s rebuttal to Miller’s complaint said the state did work to accommodate him, as evidenced by his four months off. The rebuttal also said Miller was asked to be in touch if he saw a job that was of interest, a claim he disputes.

In February 2022, the state advised him his disability claim would be denied; an attached report said he wasn’t completely incapacitated, and “his employer reported that the incidents (he responded to) were typical for all field troopers.”

Wesolowski, with the National Alliance on Mental Illness, said law enforcement is a calling for many officers, it requires rigorous training, and NAMI’s stance is that rehabilitation is possible for every person.

“So being told that you can’t return to that job, that you can’t continue in that career, is a challenge,” said Wesolowski, who spoke in general terms about mental health and not about Miller’s specific case.

She also said the stigma discourages people from “health-seeking behaviors.”

“The result is more people won’t be honest about the struggles that they’re facing, and that’s the last thing we want,” Wesolowski said.

***

In the complaint Miller filed in April 2022 with the Human Rights Bureau, he alleged he was terminated after just four months of leave rather than an entire year, if not more, required by law.

(Screenshot from Zach Miller’s complaint to the Human Rights Bureau.)

The complaint also said both the American Disabilities Act and the Montana Human Rights Act require an employer to work with an employee who has said he has a physical or mental disability and wants an accommodation, but the Department of Justice and Highway Patrol did not do so.

“Respondents admitted in writing that they refused to engage in the interactive process with Zach, refused to reasonably accommodate his disability, and ultimately terminated Zach as a result of his service-related disability,” the complaint said.

In a rebuttal, the state said HR had offered Miller a job, but he said he preferred to be medically retired. Miller agreed HR raised the possibility of a position in gambling control but said he never heard anything about it again; the complaint said the state never provided evidence of a job offer either.

Miller said he wishes he could have taken the case to court, but he decided to settle in light of the upfront costs: “I wish I could have afforded to face them in court. The truth looks better.”

Through the settlement, Miller received the remainder of the pay he was owed, $67,000; the agencies agreed to help him search for another job with the state if he didn’t qualify for medical retirement; and they agreed to send a letter to the Montana Public Employee Retirement Administration that would allow him to receive disability retirement benefits.

“This agreement does not constitute an admission by Respondent of any violation of charging party’s rights or the law, which are expressly denied,” said the agreement, in part. It also said the Department of Justice and Highway Patrol denied any discriminatory and retaliatory conduct.

Miller dropped a related district court complaint as part of the agreement.

***

Miller is still suffering from nightmares.

He’s in the midst of a divorce, partly due to stressors of his job and side effects of medication intended to ease his pain. He’s watching the bank take back the dream house he and his soon-to-be ex-wife were building.

He wanted treatment — and at least one of his superiors told him the agency would provide it. He wanted to return to work in law enforcement in some form, maybe through retraining, but he didn’t get the chance.

“It’s like they took a patrol car that had half its life and threw it away when it needed some work,” Miller said.

Zach Miller said he liked the digital side of investigations when he worked as a highway trooper. (Keila Szpaller/The Daily Montanan)

He said he never expected he would become reluctant to head out on a work call, but it happened anyway.

“When I look back on it, it’s that I was scared,” Miller said. “It was the PTSD. It was the anxiety. It was the fact that my cup was so full with other people’s pain.”

Trauma affects people differently, according to Wesolowski. She said it’s common for all people, not just law enforcement workers, to be unable to receive appropriate mental health support, although the pandemic prodded some change.

“It really opened up the conversation about mental health at large, and that has trickled down to the law enforcement community,” Wesolowski said. “So we’re starting to see those shifts, but it’s still a really big challenge for people to access that care.”

Miller will probably have to work for himself in the future, he said; he can’t think of an employer who could be flexible enough to accommodate his unexpected mental health needs.

He’s still in therapy and taking medication, but he’s a long way away from being healthy. He doesn’t drive at night anymore, and he doesn’t like to drive on two-lane highways.

“Am I ever going to get better? I hope so. But it hasn’t happened yet.”

Helping people is still in his blood, though. He tells stories of crashes using his little boy’s toy cars to demonstrate, one in each hand, and when he talks about wrecks and near misses, he offers unsolicited advice.

“If you’re ever wondering, take the guardrail. It will help absorb the crash. If you’re ever wondering what to do.”

The post Montana Highway Patrol terminated trooper who requested mental health support appeared first on Daily Montanan.